How A British Florist Solved The Mystery Of The Coming Apocalypse


Last week, in the south west of England, the world started to fall in on itself. As little blue balls of sticky gel fell from the sky, Steve Hornsby feared the worst: the end was surely nigh. But, phew, it’s all OK. A florist from a nearby town has sorted it out.

Speaking to The Guardian, Hornsby described that fateful night:

“I was just about to pop into the garage to get some logs for the fire when the sky went very dark and then a strange yellow colour. There was then a short, sharp hail storm that lasted for about 20 seconds….

“Then I spotted something on the lawn and it looked like broken glass. But then I put my foot on it and it disappeared and I thought it was strange. Then I looked around and there were lots of others. They were definitely not there before the storm.

“They were almost impossible to pick up, they were very jelly-like.”

Quickly, get Mulder and Scully on the phone! But if you can’t find Mulder and Scully — and they’re never around the south of England when they’re needed, damn it — the best thing to do is to call in the best local alternative.

Which in this case, it turns out, is Mel Smith of Ena’s Florists. Speaking to the BBC, she said the balls look extremely similar to the type she uses in her, uh, flower arranging. They even have the same consistency when broken into:

“We buy them dehydrated and then soak them in water for about six hours and they hydrate to balls up to 1 inch or so in diameter.”

There is another theory, too, that suggests they could be ammunition used in a range of toy guns called Xploderz.

Either way, Mr Hornsby doesn’t agree. Instead, he’s keeping the balls in his fridge and has accepted an offer from Bournemouth University to analyse the substance. [BBC, The Gurdian]

Image: The Guardian


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