Periodic Table Of Swearing Is Now A Real Table

It’s not going to replace your coffee table any time soon, unless you like having your neighbours over for tea while your furniture derides them with round after round of unsavoury language. Those of you concerned about its pedigree, never fear — it comes complete with a British accent and a “Bollocks” button.

The clip of the table above, as you might have guessed, is very much NSFW and will do nothing but corrupt your vocabulary.

The table, once only a 2D diagram designed for cloths and magnets, has been given life by UK design outfit Clay Interactive. According to Clay, 100 metres of cabling and 300 soldered joints make up the majority of its construction, as does a fair amount of profanity.

I can’t imagine anyone wanting to own such a demonic contraption, so it’s fortunate it doesn’t appear to be for sale.

Photos of the table can be found below:

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[DVICE, via That’s Like, Whoa]