7 Novel Ways To Wrap All That Crap You Bought

7 Novel Ways To Wrap All That Crap You Bought

Your Christmas shopping might be done, but you can’t just stick plain boxes or department store bags under the tree. You now have to wrap everything you so it looks like you actually put some thought into your gifts.

So here are seven ideas that will not only make the process a little easier, but are sure to make your gifts stand out.


Laser Guided Scissors

One of the secrets to spending as little money as possible on wrapping paper is to use it as efficiently as you can. And if lasers can give sniper rifles pinpoint accuracy, they can certainly do the same for scissors.

You’ll never have to worry about wandering off line, or creating a horribly crooked cut with these laser guided scissors. Powered by a set of cell batteries they’ll keep your slicing straight and true, whether you’re hacking away at gift wrap for a present, or cleaning up your bangs for a party. $US16


Bacon Wrapping Paper

The goodness of bacon ensures it will never become a tiresome cliche. So if you hand a gift to a friend who balks at this mouth-watering cooked bacon gift wrap, I’m pretty sure they’re someone you don’t want to be friends with.

Paying $US4 for just two sheets of 20 by 30 inch wrap is a little steep. But only until you remember it’s made to look like bacon — mother nature’s most perfect food. Now keep in mind your gift won’t measure up if someone else happens to use real bacon as wrapping, so if you’re hoping to make a great impression, a trip to your butcher is the only real option. $US4 for two sheets


Financial Padding

Nothing says “Merry Christmas, look how baller I am” than a package that uses crumpled up benjamins instead of packing peanuts. But until your friends are arrested for trying to spend them, they won’t know this Financial Padding is actually fake currency.

They come in stacks of 200 bills which you’ll have to crumple yourself — annoying, I know. But they’re sure to leave a lasting impression of your insinuated wealth, or complete irresponsibility with your savings. $15


QRapping Paper

QR codes haven’t gotten as popular as we were told they would be. But they occasionally come in useful, like as a way to turn a wrapped present into 50 more gifts.

The black and white dotted cubes adorning this paper have a certain aesthetic appeal, but they’re functional too. Just have the giftee point a QR code reading app on their smartphone at one and they’ll be automatically taken to one of over 50 humorous Christmas-themed videos. $US15 for 2 sheets


Prank Packs Genuine Fake Gift Boxes

While making for a great gag, these Prank Pack fake gift boxes do call for a little extra effort on your part, since technically it’s like wrapping a gift twice. They make your present look like a completely different — and completely ridiculous — item. So you get to watch the recipient try their hardest to feign appreciation as they open it.

This year saw the addition of three new faux gift boxes, including the Bathe & Brew shower coffee maker, the iDrive steering wheel mount, and the ToeTunes slipper speakers. While completely impractical, I could actually see these products coming to the market, which makes the gag all the more believable. $US8


Christmas Pudding Garbage Bags

If you’ve got a large family, wrapping your gifts in creative and thoughtful ways is going to get tiresome right quick. So we’ve got some clever giftwrap shortcuts for you as well.

These giant plastic bags that look like Christmas puddings are actually supposed to be where you put the shredded wrapping paper once the gifts are opened. But who’s to say it can’t be used as the wrap itself? It helps to give a gift that fills out the bag as much as possible, but a mountain of packing peanuts should provide enough padding. You’ll just want to make sure they don’t get mixed in with the regular trash bags before the 25th, but if you’re like me, you don’t start wrapping before that day anyways. $US16 for 12 bags


Duck Brand Holiday Duct Tape

This is the greatest addition to the holiday DIYer’s toolkit since duct tape itself. If you’re as crappy at wrapping as I am, you’re probably going to half entomb your gift in tape anyways. So instead of wasting money on paper, why not just only use tape?

Duck Brand duct tape already comes in a variety of colours and patterns, but its three Christmas prints are absolutely perfect for wrapping gifts. Besides saving you the time and frustration of cutting and taping paper, you also get to watch the frustrated giftee as they try and free their present from the sticky disaster you just handed them. (Maniacal laugh!) $5

Photo: Shutterstock/lenetstan