Still scratching your head over what to get your lovely lady for Christmas? If you've been bad this year and not listened to the hints she's been throwing out (and all women do, trust me) all year, I'm here to save your arse with these 15 geeky/gadget gift ideas that she'll totally believe you thought of all by yourself. You're welcome.
If your wife is into exercising, or you think maybe she should start thinking about it (whatever you do, don't say she's fat), help her out with this GPS fitness watch. It's water resistant to 30m, lets you create a training program with actual targets based on personal goals, gives feedback, measures your fitness level and more. I'm even gonna show you how to get 25 per cent off — just type FIT11 as the promotional code when checking out. $229 from Polar Australia.
If you've tried and failed at explaining how hard drives work to your lady friend by just using words, you're doing it wrong. Women like to visualise stuff just as much as men do. This external hard drive won some design award, has a 1TB capacity and apparently "is the only external USB hard drive in the world that you can watch while it works". And you can never have too many backup drives. Be useful and get her one. $424.75 + shipping from Etsy.
It looks like the meteorologists actually got something right. It's turning out to be a very wet summer indeed, which means your girlfriend's gonna need a funky umbrella to keep her hair dry. The fibre optic lights look like raindrops, and there's a light at the bottom of the handle, so you'll know that if she falls it wasn't because she couldn't see where she was going. $US29.99 + shipping from ThinkGeek.
Why do speakers have a habit of being ugly? I mean, really ugly. Boring, black, square. Your wife wants her tragic love song collection to come from something that's got some shape, something pretty. Make her happy with these cute wireless Bluetooth speakers. They've got a range of 10m and can stream music from her iPhone, iPad, laptop or any other Bluetooth-enabled device. Normally $119, you can nab them for just $79.95 + delivery from OO.com.au.
I'm not really sure why women love to take photos of themselves. It could be a self-esteem thing, or maybe they just want picture proof that they're really hot. Well, either way, she's bound to love the shockproof and waterproof Panasonic DMC-FT10, because she can now take photos of herself underwater and in rough conditions. Harvey Norman's selling the red one for just $196, which is cheaper than you'll find at some of the other majors.
I have a great sense of direction... when I have a map in front of me telling me which way to go. Imagine your girlfriend stuck in some more side street in a dodgy area in the middle of the night when it's pouring rain. Doesn't make you feel good, right? Get her a GPS unit to make both of you feel better. This one by TomTom isn't too exxy and it speaks out street names, so she doesn't have to take her eyes off the road. How thoughtful of you! $158 from JB Hi-Fi.
Is your lovely lady a bookworm? You understand those Matthew Reilly novels are engrossing, so you're going to get her the latest in Kindle technology (well, if Amazon ever stops region-blocking the Kindle Fire *rolls eyes*). The Kindle Touch is 8 per cent lighter, 11 per cent smaller and 89 per cent uglier. Just stick this "Flower of Fire" decal over it and she won't be able to tell. $US99 for the Kindle Touch, $US19.95 for the decal + shipping from Amazon.
Are you dating a geeky girl? Never let go of her, dude. Get her this pillow made of pink pleather and gloat in your intellectual superiority together. No, she is not going to throw this at you in disappointment. That would be mean. $27.98 + shipping from Etsy.
This will only work if your girlfriend is into retro cartoons and a size 10-12, since it only comes in one size. But if you can pull it off, you can live out your weird fantasies by making her wear a mini dress with Transformers art all over it. Also, it's totally unique, so you'll know that no other man can copy your sick idea. Convincing her that it's actually a gift for her and not for you — well, that's up to you. Don't look at me. $149.91 + shipping from Etsy.
This is the perfect way to nudge her into gaming. Nintendo now makes a pink version of the 3DS, and JB Hi-Fi are doing a sweet starter pack deal, where you can get the handheld console bundled with a bonus game and accessory pack. It won't be long now before you'll have her playing Call of Duty with you all night long. $249 for the bundle at JB Hi-Fi.
Is she into steampunk? No? Well, she will be after you give her this metallic gold clock made from an actual hard drive. BONUS: You can fully impress her by explaining all the parts and how they used to work. That will get you laid for sure. $41.97 + shipping from Etsy.
You fellas really need to step it up with those free massages you promised on the first date. You said you were really good at them and we totally believed you! If you can't do your duty, raise your hand in shame and buy a neck massager for the woman you lied to in order to make her love you. $44.95 from the Shaver Shop.
The description for this is a case of TL;DR, but I think it's made of lots of recycled parts and plays music or something. Who cares! This thing is cute and will induce that adorable oooh-what-is-it face that makes you melt on the inside. Have fun gift-wrapping it. $284.83 + shipping from Etsy.
Get her to just stop meddling with your expensive, professional toolbox already. This 149-piece toolkit nails it, packing a hammer, screwdrivers, pliers, shears, tape measure, adjustable spanner and Allen key set. It comes complete with its own folding case and instruction booklet, so she can fix stuff around the house while you don't. $59.95 + delivery from LatestBuy.
Before you ask, no, I cannot personally vouch for the, uh, quality of this product. But I was obligated to include a sex toy, so here it is. The We-Vibe 3 comes with a rechargeable pod and... a remote control? Wow, imagine all the sexy times you could have together. It's not just a pressie for her — it's a pressie for you too! Your sex life is bound to improve in 2012. Don't let me know how that goes for you. $179.95 + delivery from Sex Toys 247.