Idiot Casually Steals 1000 Litres Of Petrol

On the right, you're looking at Yoenis Cristo Banos, who's currently out on bail for a felony theft charge in Broward County, Florida. On the left? The silly fuel-sucking system that got him there.

There are some criminal plans that are deceptively simple, and others that are just plain simple. Barnos's was the latter. From what I gather, it was formulated something like this:

Step one: Roll up to petrol station in suspicious-looking van outfitted with giant plastic tanks, generator.

Step two: Park suspicious-looking van directly over the underground vaults that hold petrol station's supply of petrol.

Step three: Connect hoses to vaults, siphon petrol into giant plastic tanks until police arrive.

Step four: Get arrested.

So, A+ for execution, Yoenis! He'd managed to slurp up about 1000 litres -- a value of about $US1020 on the thriving gasoline black market -- before the petrol station's managers started to wonder why a suspicious-looking van with hoses coming out the side was parked in their lot.

Seriously, Florida. Pull it together. You've got relatives coming for the holidays. [The Smoking Gun]