Online gaming may be the preferred form of multiplayer showdowns these days, but the LAN party still exists. They're gruelling, caffeine-fuelled affairs that can span multiple days, and intimidate the uninitiated. So here's everything you need to fit in.
Get a leg up on your foes with a programmable keyboard that lets you assign and arrange macro combinations for your game of choice. That bag of idiots on the receiving end of your digital beatdown will be regretting the day they ever brought a QWERTY keyboard to the party. $US130.
If you go to a giant LAN party with hundreds of random dudes (and one girl!), someone might try and steal your limited edition Fatal1ty gaming mouse. Unless you want to be peeing in bottles the whole time as you lord over your domain, slap a USB hub with a port lock in your tower and urinate in peace. $US25.
Gamers these days seem to love that Bawls energy drink. But a LAN party just doesn't seem right without at least one person with a half-consumed, room-temperature two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew sitting next to their keyboard. Be that person. You'll have a classical aura swirling around you. A couple of bucks.
When it's 4.32am and and you're strung out on Caffeine and Doritos your ability to focus will deteriorate. You'll have your arse handed two you in a 1v1 match by a seemingly-robotic opponent who apparently requires no rest because you're seeing orcs and night elves flying around the room. The best way to block out the noise is by throwing a giant towel over your monitor and your head, creating a zone of solitude to frag the living shit out of someone. Sure, you'll look like the type who still lives in their childhood bedroom (and who knows, maybe you still do), but hey, that's the price you pay for LAN party supremacy. $US10.
Starting at a screen all day is not easy on your eyes. Clicking and mashing all day is downright brutal on the joints and muscles in your head. You need painkillers, but not ones that will turn you into Paula Abdul during a morning show interview. Nor do you want ones that will tear your stomach up. Ibuprofen is a good option! $US3.
If you don't have a gaming laptop that's up to snuff, you're gonna be lugging around a cumbersome tower. That shit's no fun. But with the Sunbeam LAN Party Bag, you can latch on a pair of backpack straps to it and carry it around without having to lose the functionality of your hands. $US13.
You'll be surrounded by a critical mass of nerds who don't believe in the value of proper hygiene. There will be a five mile cloud of B.O. surrounding the party. And you don't want the guilt of that weighing on your conscience. $US5.
Top image: Flickr/Hudson