Goon! Is there anything with a reputation as bad as cask wine? I think toe jam and Rebecca Black score higher with gen pop. But oh you silly judgmental soul who spat on boxed wine! Turns out, boxed wine doesn’t suck anymore.
Wait, what? When did this happen? According to the New York Times (which reviewed 12 boxed red wine and eight boxed white wine):
Without a doubt, the choices are far superior to what was available five years ago. Among the wines we liked best, we found more than a few that we’d be happy to serve as a house pour, especially among the reds.
That sounds like high praise from presumably snooty wine drinkers! But why did they ever box wine in the first place? Because when wine is boxed, it’s especially effective (versus bottles, at least) at preserving wine once it’s opened. How so? Because inside the un-classy cardboard box is an even less classy plastic big filled with wine. The tap handle is actually inserted inside the plastic bag and acts as a pseudo-vacuum: when the wine is poured, the plastic bag shrinks. No air contaminates the wine left inside.
Clever, eh! This way, the wine is good for weeks as opposed to days. (Bottles are still better at blocking air out before it’s opened though). So maybe it’s still not as good as bottled wine but it’s better than the bitter juice it used to spew out. Which means, it’s now totally OK to kill multiple boxes like you did in university. YES. [NY Times, NY Times]