It's the singular thought that's been on every man's mind for the past few days: What if it was me? What would happen if my wife cut my penis off and threw it away? Now we know. Doctors would graft muscle from your thigh or forearm to make you a new one.
The replacement penis procedure is a last resort for when the original penis can't be reattached. If most of the penis is "salvageable" (a truly terrifying word when it comes to penises) it can just be sewn back on. But if it's not, thigh or forearm muscle is tacked onto your pelvis and covered with skin from elsewhere on your body. It all sort of sounds like mushing up a wad of flesh with your hands, but I suppose beggars and choosers applies.
The good news is that the replacement penis would be pretty much functional. It would require a penile implant, but you'd be able to get an erection and climax, since the nerves involved in sex can be reattached. The less-good-but-still-OK-considering-the-circumstances news: "[The patient]would not be able to ejaculate." Ah well, who needs that mess anyway? [Daily Mail via The Awl]