Wine Disguised As Perfume Can Only End Badly

As if Smirnoff Ices weren’t targeted enough, these perfume-shaped wine bottles have gone on sale in Europe, with three “novel” flavours to choose from – jasmine, rose and violet. Because what girl doesn’t want their breath to smell of roses?

Those lucky German and Italian men! Holding their girlfriends’ hair back as they vom in the back of a taxi will be a much more floral experience. I just hope Mazzetti d’Altavilla’s Essentia Vitae are 700ml bottles or at least 30 per cent alcohol, because true women would have to neck about 10 of those to get any kind of buzz, otherwise. [Dr Vino, Beverage Daily and Packaging News via The Guardian]