Everyone knows that owning an iPhone is a giant liability. Walk around with your shiny design piece and you're definitely going to get stabbed and have it taken from you. So why not use an embarrassingly old and busted Nokia instead?
This sketch by BBC Comedy isn't so much of a bad idea! I mean, you'll miss out on things like Maps, cameras, video, the internet and free torch apps - but these are trifles. All you really need is Snake. And just carry around a map in your pocket, you 21st century brat. [YouTube via Reddit]