Introducing America’s Newest Disfiguring Disease: Blackberry Neck

Did you know that spending too much time looking down at your Blackberry and texting is going to give your neck ugly and unsightly wrinkles? It’s true! It’s called Blackberry Neck. Says who? Well, the lady who came up with the treatment to fight Blackberry Neck.

Joanna Czech, an aesthetician in Manhattan, concocted the Blackberry Facial, which is an exfoliation treatment consisting of “a neck cleansing, a peel with sapphire stones, another peel, a hydrating serum, and then some lymphatic drainage”. Then there is 20 minutes of weird light and electricity shot through the neck which is followed by an oxygen mask. The whole process takes about 45 minutes, and sounds more like creating the Bride of Frankenstein than something that happens at a spa.

So it wasn’t enough to worry about our weight and complexion, tennis elbow and swimmer’s ear, carpel tunnel and iPhone knuckle (when your pointer finger gets jammed when dialing), now we have to worry about Blackberry Neck, too? This sounds like one of those things that didn’t even exist until there was a supposed cure for it. Ladies: Save your money and don’t worry about treating your Blackberry Neck. Chances are you’re going to die from the brain tumor the damn thing gave you before it looks that bad anyway.

Image of a woman without Blackberry Neck via Shutterstock


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