7 Tools To Help You Survive A Night In Central Park

7 Tools To Help You Survive A Night In Central Park

It’s summertime in the US and you want something adventurous to do. Maybe you’re visiting NYC and want to see more than the Statue of Liberty, or maybe you’re stuck in NYC for the summer and tired of the usual. Why not try a night under the stars in Central Park? Sure, it’s not really legal, and it’s littered with crackheads, but who cares?! Live a little! Here’s what you need to survive.

Image via Shutterstock.

Eye 2 Eye Wearable Hummingbird Feeder: The birds are your friends. Remember that scene in Home Alone 2 where young Kevin McCallister is running through Central Park trying to evade the Wet Bandits and the pigeons come to his rescue? Yeah, exactly. This birdfeeder mask, which sticks a miniature feeding tube between your eyes, gets you face to face with the fast-flapping buggers. But don’t worry, there’s a layer of professional-grade polycarbonate to protect your face and allow you to strike up a loyal bird army of your own. $US80.[imgclear]

Steripen UV Water Purifier: Once the sun goes down, all the food vendors will disappear, leaving you to fend for yourself. Maintain a supply of drinking water by dipping this thing into the Central Park pond, and turning the crank, which will then purify and clean that stagnant filth one liter at a time. $US100.[imgclear]

Lumapivot: Sure, you could spend the night under one of the many streetlights available to you. But at that point you might as well be staying at your cousin’s Adventurenereering resort. For the full survivalist experience, you’re going to want to stay in one of the park’s darker nooks, with nothing but your own guile and these pivoting, twisting, bending lamps – with two rotatable LED panels – shining a light wherever the latest rustle or hoot came from. $US50.[imgclear]

22G Superlight Locking Knife: I’m not saying it’s a certainty that you’re going to have ward off hobos with a flick of your trusted blade. I’m just saying that should the occasion arise (which it will), you’ll want to guard your treasures in minimalist style. The Baladelo 22g knife is a perfectly economic balance of size, weight and strength that’s ideal for low-impact whittling, squirrel hunting, or wild, flailing self-preservation. $US24.[imgclear]

ThermaCell Portable Mosquito Repellent Device: Few things about the outdoors are more irritating than mosquito bites. Keep yourself bite-free with this portable repellent device, which emits a small butane flame the little blood suckers hate. Problem solved, provided you stay within the 4.5m repellant radius. $US15.[imgclear]

Vivitar Night Vision Pocket Cam: Seriously, what the hell are you going to do all night? Sit around and sing “Kumbaya”? No. Bring along a night-vision capable pocket cam and make your own sweded version of the Blair Witch Project. $US35.[imgclear]

Mini Motel: At some point you’ll need to catch some shut-eye. A full-size tent will grab the attention of fun-hating park rangers immediately. Instead, opt for the low profile mini-motel, which isn’t really made for the outdoors, but whatever, you’re in the middle of a city park. It will comfortably sleep one and keep a layer between you and the ‘elements’. $US25.