Look, everyone needs a hobby. I like to read, and stare solemnly out my window. It’s good to stay active! But this Russian fellow has a particularly engaging pastime: hunting down Moscow’s rat population and blowing them to rodent hell.
Gennady, whose last name is a mystery because he is a covert rat sniper, used to be a duck hunter. But what fun is shooting ducks? They’re a pleasant species – delicious, sure, but no threat to mankind. Plus they fly, and that’s tricky. Rats, on the other hand, are nigh-universally despised creatures. They caused the Black Plague! They have fangs and weird little eyes! Their tails are gross! The solution? If you’re Gennady, wield a $US3400 pneumatic sniper rifle, line up a laser-sighted headshot, and get Cossack on their furry asses.
Sure, Moscow probably has a rat population in the millions. But that won’t stop Gennady. So, if you’re a Moscow rat and you’re reading this, your days are numbered. Also, congratulations on reading a website, that’s quite impressive. Wait – if you can read, that means you have human intelligence – Gennady, stop—! [English Russia]