The Post Where I Turn A Kohler Transitions "Quiet-Close" Toilet Seat Into A Crime Scene

Gizmodo Detective's Log, 3 April 2011 - The poor schmuck. Wife just couldn't take it anymore. Seat up, seat down—didn't matter. Was the loud late-night seat slam that did him in. Shoulda gone with the Kohler.

At least with the Kohler Transitions "Quiet-Close" he might have stood a chance. A few more hours, at least. All those years of angst and arguments with the missus were going to lead to somethin' violent, this is true, but with the Quiet-Close he'd have bought himself one additional day. Maybe coulda' got the heck out of Dodge that morning before she woke up all full of piss and vinegar.

Instead, he played the sap and put off the Quiet-Close installation. Planned on doing it this weekend, from the look of the Kohler box sitting unopened in the garage. Now he's pushin' daises, and it all started with a late night toilet seat slam that woke a monster.

That's one toilet seat he's definitely not glad he put down.

So anyway, Kohler has this toilet seat that prevents those annoying late night toilet seat crashes that inevitably happen when everyone in the house is trying to get a sound sleep. It's a real thing! Kid-friendly too, which anyone with kids will tell you is probably very welcome. Happy, quiet homes, and all that.

And oh hey, I've done this kind of silly post before, so just relax. It's a Sunday thing:

The Post Where I Turn an Old Sofa Bed Into A Crime Scene

The One Where I Turn a Stolen $US100,000 Apple Prototype Into a Crime Scene

And, scene. [Kohler via OhGizmo]



    hmm more surface area, grooves and joints for those bodily fluid to clink to. more surface to clean. i think when it come to toilets keep it simple, curve smooth and less moving parts the better :)

    Lol, I installed something similar this weekend as well :)

    The problem is it takes a heck of a long time to drop if you're in a hurry ...

    I bought a seat from Bunnings for $50.
    It is a simple seat with a siff hinge so it must be closed fully by hand, it won't close on it's own so it won't smash down therefore it's silent but quick without the extra surface area to accumulate things we don't want it to.

    Well I guess now he won't need to...

    *Puts on sunglasses*

    ...keep a lid on all his marrige problems!

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