You’re male. You have an Android device with a built-in accelerometer. So obviously what you need is an app which can track and measure the efficiency with which you…, well, you know, right? Enter Wank-o-meter.
There’s probably not much more to say. You strap Wank-o-meter onto your arm (there are custom armbands if that seems too difficult), slap your hand where it fits, and go until you can go no longer. In return for your efforts, you get a detailed set of stats, covering how much energy you’ve consumed, your average and maximum force, an “average shake count”, and even the likely distance you have spurted. As you’re wiping up the mess, just remember: Steve Jobs thinks you are evil.
Let’s be clear about this: I have not tested the Wank-o-meter, and the main reason is because my principle Android device right now is the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1v. While 10 inches is not an irrelevant number to throw around in this context, the fact remains: my arm could not handle the strain.