For Every Can Of Banned Four Loko Turned Into Ethanol, An Urban Twentysomething Falls Into A Depressive Rut

Four Loko, the recently banned alcoholic energy drink may be a scarcely available resource, but depending on who you ask, all those unused cans of Loko haven’t gone to waste: Orphaned cans along the East Coast are now being converted to Ethanol.

Nearly 200 truckloads of Four Loko are en route to MXI Environmental Services, located in Virginia, to be repurposed into a form of energy that isn’t youthful recklessness. According to the AP the plant is currently able to process four truckloads a day of the drink, with each truckload containing 2000 cases of Four Loko. Each case has 12 cans of the drink, and each can hold 695mL. That’s roughly 4.8 MILLION unconsumed cans of Four Loko holding 900 gallons of the super fun time tasty beverage. Loko fiends everywhere are shedding tears over that revelation, I promise you. [AP]

(Sidenote: We attempted to ask Darth Vader his thoughts on Four Loko for this story, but he declined to comment.)


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