Please excuse the profanity, I'm merely quoting the brilliant "Apple Store is Down" song that Gizmodo's Editor-at-Large Joel Johnson wrote (and recorded!) while at BoingBoing Gadgets a couple of years ago. Check it out here.
Lyrics are below, but if you want to hear Joel's catchy tune played out over some randomly generated (and I mean random) Apple keynotes, click on over to BoingBoing now.
Apple Store Is Down
Best not make any plans today. The Apple store is down, new shit is on its way. A tablet Mac or new SDK. Doesn't matter,'cause it's Apple, As long as Steve goes slow in the keynote: "Had a great business year, our future success is clear.
But I have just one more thing to show before I disappear. And I think it's the most exciting thing that we are gonna launch this year. Boom it's here."
Listen, Steve, my friends and I have decided that it's okay that you know (whoa) that we don't want for you to die. If it happened the stock would flatten. So if you go, go slow! I need a new boat. "My hair is gone. I'm grizzled gray. Retire you ask? Not today.
'cause I have just one more thing to show before I disappear. It might be the most important product that we're gonna launch this year. Boom it's here."
BRIDGE: My head is swimming; my mouth is dry. I hardly can believe that I am worthy to be in this distortion field.
'cause I want just one more thing to own before I disappear. And my life needs one more thing to glow to add a little cheer. Oh thank god it's here.