Boss: "Jensen, I wouldn't wipe my arse with your TPS reports, such is my disdain for your work." Jensen: "That's too bad, sir, because you just did in the restroom!" You see, readers, this scene unfolded thusly because of this:
It's a machine that recycles paper into toilet paper! And surprise, this quirky bit of tech is from...Japan!
Called White Goat, possibly because someone in the inventor's office saw one eating some paper one day and then do what animals do naturally after eating such things, the machine creates a roll of TP in about 30 minutes using 40 sheets of office paper: