The Craziest Official Star Wars Stuff

The Craziest Official Star Wars Stuff

Star Wars: 1,000 Collectibles is one of the best Star Wars coffee-table books in recent memory. It catalogs authorised Star Wars merchandise from around the globe. Some you’ve seen (and maybe owned), some will just blow your mind.

Written and compiled by Stephen J. Sansweet—who, as head of fan relations for Lucasfilm and curator of Rancho Obi-Wan, has two of the awesomest jobs in our galaxy—the book covers a million different things Lucasfilm has licensed over the years, and a handful of very impressive efforts by fans as well. People love to make fun of the over-licensing of Star Wars, but a certain genius is revealed when you see all of it, all at once.

Here, courtesy of the book’s publisher, is a glimpse of the crazier marvels found within (along with comments by me—not the author):

C-3PO Ceramic Tape Dispenser
USA, 1981-1982

I wish I had been in the meeting when this baby was being discussed. It’s almost… erotic.

Clone Wars-Themed Fun Casting Combo
USA, 2009

Surprisingly out there for a brand-new product tie-in, I suppose there is a link between lightsaber handling and fly casting. Just don’t confuse a bass and a bantha.

Jar Jar Binks Slippers
USA, 1999

It’s too easy to make fun of Jar Jar, and Lucasfilm’s mistaken assumption that he would unlock some enormous kid market previously (and still) dominated by Elmo. Regardless, these slippers are awesome, aren’t they?

Spirit of Yoda Kubrick
Japan, 2008

“Hey kid, here’s your birthday present. It’s Yoda—and he’s dead!”

Lightsaber Air-Sickness Bags
USA, 2005

Yeah, these really cool diagrams, showing the parts and etiquette of our favorite space sword, were printed on barf bags. If you were lucky enough to find one of these in the seat pocket in front of you, I hope you have it framed.

Princess Leia Underoos
USA, 1981

I loved Underoos as much as the next functioning 6-year-old of that age—crazy how they got us so excited about underwear. But this choice—Leia’s Hoth garb—seems like a stretch. Guess they couldn’t wait till the 1983 version, Tatooini bikini Leia.

Chewbacca Mobile Phone Case
UK, 2005

Mobile phone cozy, made from genuine Wookiee hide.

Star Wars Happy Hippo Figurines
Germany, 2002

These came inside chocolate eggs over in Europe, and they certainly are endearing and collectible. But that whole blue-hippo-masquerading-as-green-alien thing—it really throws off my suspension of disbelief.

Meaty Beef Flavour Dog Chow Bag and Stickers
Australia, 1983

Someone finally figured out how to get dogs excited about food.

Yoda Cap
USA, 1980-1981

It looks like a fan thing, but nope, this baby is (or at least was) official. I am trying to figure out if I remember it, or if I just love it so much I’m implanting it as a memory.

Jar Jar Binks Monster Mouth Candy Tongue
USA, 1999

Illegal in Texas.

Star Wars Marin Unit T-Shirt
USA, 1979

This one was never in wide distribution, for sale or as a promotional item. It was, however, the official crew t-shirt of the team based in Marin County during the shooting of Empire Strikes Back. I included it because that shot of Darth Vader could never have a more appropriate home than here on Gizmodo. We raise our glasses right back at you, Lord V.

Needless to say, we highly recommend you spring $US23 and check out the book itself, and all 1,000 treasures kept within. [; Amazon]