9 Life Lessons To Learn From Copier-Abusing Hussies [NSFW]

I've worked in enough offices to recall the temptation of copy machines. "Come here, you bad girl! Use me!" they'd shout, but I'd remain firm in my sensibilities, unlike these office hussies. But let's at least learn something from them.

There are dozens and dozens of pictures of tits and arses shamelessly pressed against copy machine glass over at Vice, but I've sifted through them to pick out some prime examples of office pornography and the nine corresponding basic lessons about life.

Lesson 1: Carry Anti-Bacterial Wipes

There are a lot of germs around and they tend to build up on frequently used surfaces such as phones, keyboards, and of course, copy machines. Do you really want to carelessly touch that? Besides, those wipes are handy for a quick cleanup.

Lesson 2: Get Strange Skin Issues Checked Out

See that odd little mark on the underboob? It could be a bad copy job, an innocent beauty mark, or a malignant skin condition. Don't take odd things like that lightly. (Especially if you encounter them a bit further south)

Lesson 3: Remove Your Watch Before Things Get Too Wild

As someone with long hair, I know the pain of getting your head yanked back because a curl got wrapped around a watch. Just take a second and slip off the timepiece, please. (Leave the socks on though, they're kinda cute.)

Lesson 4: Know Your Size and Wear It

Whether bra or condom, learn what size you need to wear and actually wear it. Your naughty bits will thank you.

Lesson 5: Pack Spare Undies

They barely take up any extra space, but good God are there times you'll wish you packed another pair of comfy boxers or an extra naughty bit of lace.

Lesson 6: Learn To Appreciate and Criticise Art

Whether you do it by taking an art class, brushing up on photography, or even just taking the occasional moment to enjoy the simple beauty of symmetry in nature, there's just something about knowing how to properly appreciate and criticise art that'll better you as a person.

Lesson 7: Lend A Hand To Those In Need

Be it assisting someone in staying on top of a copy machine or curing diseases, I firmly believe that good deeds make the world go 'round. And if nothing else, you'll at least feel a bit more warm and tingly inside afterward.

Lesson 8: Plausible Deniability Is Your Friend

This gal has lesson eight down pat, I can't even call her a hussy. She's so cute and it looks like there weren't any chairs left at the office party. Could be a complete accident that her skirt got hiked up so high.

Lesson 9: Unless Your Name Is Adam Frucci, Don't Hump Gadgets

We can disagree about everything else, but I think there's no argument about the fact that this gentleman is definitely doin' it wrong and requires lessons which can only be taught by Adam.

Now that you've gotten a few lessons from this copy machine mischief, go see the rest of the photos at Vice and get a report of what else you learn on my desk by tomorrow. [ViceThanks, Joel!]