From yesterday’s ridiculous to today’s sublime. Not one of you reading this right now would underestimate the importance of good seating, especially for the baby whose future entails a high likelihood of editing a gadget blog. Ladies and gentleman, we introduce the Bloom fresco.
The Lula Sapphire website tells us this seat is a firm favourite with the Hollywood A-list. Gosh, it must be good. It was created, we are told, by European design house Bloom to “encompass state-of-the-art functionality and bring premium quality infant fashion into the home for the first time”. Infant fashion. Because infants care.
It’s got everything that the 21st century baby/infant/toddler should have and be able to enjoy in a quality chair — multiple configurations, pneumatic assistance, five-point harness, enclosed castor wheels, 360-degree swivel seat and, of course, the all-important enclosed storage compartment for small parts and instruction manual.
Yes. Instruction manual. Of course, you know you’ll never read it. What kind of tech-head are you, anyway? Hell, the kid can’t read, not for a while yet, so why bother with a freakin’ instruction manual? And a compartment to keep it in? Well, because it’s satisfying, that’s why. When lesser mortals (ie your parents) are struggling with that five-point harness and swivel seat, you can tell them in a self-satisfied tone that an instruction manual is available should they require it. And that it has its own compartment.
We’re pretty impressed with this sleekly-styled marvel of child containment technology but a little disappointed about what it’s missing. There’s clearly room for a touchpad and a 5in OLED screen on that tray. Modders, to your workbenches!