Babymodo: Serious Seating For Junior

BloomchairFrom yesterday’s ridiculous to today’s sublime. Not one of you reading this right now would underestimate the importance of good seating, especially for the baby whose future entails a high likelihood of editing a gadget blog. Ladies and gentleman, we introduce the Bloom fresco.

The Lula Sapphire website tells us this seat is a firm favourite with the Hollywood A-list. Gosh, it must be good. It was created, we are told, by European design house Bloom to “encompass state-of-the-art functionality and bring premium quality infant fashion into the home for the first time”. Infant fashion. Because infants care.

It’s got everything that the 21st century baby/infant/toddler should have and be able to enjoy in a quality chair — multiple configurations, pneumatic assistance, five-point harness, enclosed castor wheels, 360-degree swivel seat and, of course, the all-important enclosed storage compartment for small parts and instruction manual.

Yes. Instruction manual. Of course, you know you’ll never read it. What kind of tech-head are you, anyway? Hell, the kid can’t read, not for a while yet, so why bother with a freakin’ instruction manual? And a compartment to keep it in? Well, because it’s satisfying, that’s why. When lesser mortals (ie your parents) are struggling with that five-point harness and swivel seat, you can tell them in a self-satisfied tone that an instruction manual is available should they require it. And that it has its own compartment.

We’re pretty impressed with this sleekly-styled marvel of child containment technology but a little disappointed about what it’s missing. There’s clearly room for a touchpad and a 5in OLED screen on that tray. Modders, to your workbenches!

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