iPhone Patents Promise To Automate Our Relationships At Last

Unwired View uncovered three new iPhone patents that promise to turn everything from calling grandma on her birthday to turning off your phone in a movie theatre into gloriously mindless activities.

Scheduled Communications "A communications device may be programmed to initiate a communications operation when a particular condition is met. The user may set any suitable condition, including for example a date and time, location, event, received or sent communications operation..." In other words, automatically email grandma on her birthday, or automatically send your wife a text message when you land in another state "I'm sorry honey, I'm seeing someone else...please pack up my clothing neatly and ship it to me."

Intelligent and Customisable Communication "The communications system can provide intelligent communications between devices, in which the system can identify appropriate communication modes for incoming communications requests based on a user's preferences and availability. The communications system can determine whether a user is participating in an activity. In response to determining that a user is participating in an activity, the communications system can automatically identify one or more preferred communication modes that are available to the user." In other words, if I'm at the gym (tracked by my location) or running from the cops (tracked by the jostling of my iPhone since my GPS is off), my family and friends can see that I'd prefer text messages instead of calls.

Life Event Based Modes "One or more event-based modes of operation may be automatically or selectively applied to the device when a new life event is detected...The event-based modes of operation may be used to restrict access to certain applications or functionalities on the device, enforce or restrict certain user interface or other types of settings, and add or remove or rearrange the priority of device assets. The new life events associated with event-based modes of operation may be of various types, including location-based events, environment-based events, calendar-based events, news-based events, and usage-based events." In other words, if you walk into a movie theatre, your phone could automatically deactivate the ringer and text message notifications, plus it might turn off all push notifications to save some battery life while you weren't actively using your iPhone. Combined with a patent above, potential callers could even see that since you were at a movie, maybe they should delay the call, wait for you in the theater's alley and then threaten you, at knife-point, that you never should have taken out a loan you couldn't pay back just to buy a stupid iPhone.

I'll take it all, Apple. Thanks. [Unwired View]