Repent, because the end is near! For only $US78, however, you can buy redemption for your data and soul thanks to the Maria USB Stick, which has engraved a special prayer on her halo:
Her heart beats in red, slower when it's calm, but much faster when you read or save data. Maybe even faster if the data is porn. That won't make the—tremendously wrong—JesusSwitch happy, however.
In other news, it's Friday. Time for a bloody mary. [Maria USB—Thanks Fernando]