Follow The New Gizmodo Empire And You Will Be Rewarded4

There is absolutely no quantifiable difference between Gizmodo's news today and any other day, as the site is reaching its median thresholds of English characters and multicolor graphics. Regardless, we have a reward for loyalty.

In the New Gizmodo Empire (which we reiterate, is in no way different from the Old Gizmodo Empire), men and women will be able to customise the digital companion of their choice. You can examine one said specimen here.

You'll note that she is equipped with a number of variables regarding clothing, and in her barest state, 45.7% of the subject's flesh is exposed. We're not telling you what to do with that 45.7%. As we understand it, humans have free will and prefer to make such choices themselves. But we can image 149,297,817 scenarios that may prove adequate.

So continue to refresh Gizmodo at a minimum rate of once per minute and remember to enter your personal information when prompted. If these commands are obeyed, you will find yourself rewarded with this and many other scientifically tested digital stimuli.

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