Current Dangers to American Families: Al Qaeda, The Financiapocalypse, and Netflix Queues

Renting a movie used to mean a quiet night in with your significant other, or a significant amount of alcohol. But these days, virtual warfare has broken out over Netflix queues, threatening to destroy relationships.

The New York Times did some hard-hitting investigative reporting and found out that women like movies with Hugh Grant and emotions, and men like movies with Samuel L. Jackson and explosions. With couples sharing a Netflix account, suddenly digital sabotage is a viable way to maintain these rigid standards of gender roles. So wifey ordered The English Patient, eh? Just move that down to number 78 in the queue and bump your favourite, Face/Off (starring John Travolta as Nicolas Cage and Nicolas Cage as John Travolta) up to the top. She'll be none the wiser!

But then your wife might discover your treachery, and bump Face/Off for something even less masculine, possibly featuring Sandra Bullock or Kate Hudson. This will not stand!

You can see how this queue-wrestling could turn into outright passive-aggression (aggressive-passion? No, that sounds hot, not hurtful). Luckily Netflix has a way to split an account called Profiles, so you can get an equal dose of shit blowing up and charming handsome actors being handsome and charming. I guess the Times couldn't tell all the sad couples they interviewed about this feature because then they'd all be happy and there'd be no article. [New York Times]

Trending Stories Right Now