13 Rules For a Laser Gun Fight

13 Rules For a Laser Gun Fight
Field and Stream’s 28 rules for gunfighting may be fantastic if you’re ever caught in a firefight, but what if you’re going to be in a laser gun fight? What then? Updated

Well, some of these rules still apply, but some of them need to be adapted. Here’s our take.

1. Bring lasers. Bring lasers and phasers (if you’re Star Trek), if you can get it. Bring backup lasers and four times the power cells you think you’ll need.

2. Shoot everything twice. Energy is cheap.

3. Make sure you hit what you’re shooting at. If you miss, keep your finger down on the trigger and drag it over to your target. Lasers keep firing as long as you’re holding down that button.

5. Lasers have longer range than guns, but will take longer to drill a hole through skin if you’re shooting from further away.

6. Laser rifles are better than laser pistols.

7. It doesn’t matter what brand of laser you’re using.

10. Keep firing your laser until your battery is done. Then, throw your laser at the guy’s face.

11. The winner is the guy who isn’t vapourised.

14. Sheetrock walls don’t stop lasers. Nor does concrete or steel. You basically have no cover.

15. Flank your adversary with lasers.

17. Lasers that can shoot 360 degrees are great, but make sure you hold it above your head.

20. Lasers are fast, so finish your fight fast. Pew pew.

21. Klingons have good accuracy.

Lastly, don’t bring a gun to a laser fight.

Update: Wil Wheaton (the man, not the succulent rump) adds: “when you have an adversary dead to rights with your laser, you tell them to suck your fat one. Trust me on this one.” [Twitter]

[Field and Stream]

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