10 Gadgets That Make You Less Physically Repulsive

Having trouble scoring a date? Do the villagers keep knocking on your door with lit torches and pitchforks in hand? Not to worry, there are plenty of gadgets out there that can help get you cleaned up, toned up and *ahem* beefed up for the ladies. But remember, it's not just about looks or how successful you are—women will see right past that to your inner beauty—your sparkling personality. Hahaha! Seriously though...these 10 gadgets can work wonders.


Mangroomer: Alright guys, let's start with the basics. You are never going to find a woman that finds it erotic to run her hands through your back hair. None of this "take me as I am" bs...shave it off with a Mangroomer electric shaver. You are making everyone sick there, Chewbacca. [Amazon via Link]

Goatee Saver: Moving around to the front, we have a contraption designed to keep your goatee neat and clean for the ladies. Just bite down on the clip inside to hold it in place and adjust the frame to the desired width using the gears. Don't expect miracles, though. Not everyone can work a goatee as well as Mark Wilson and I. [GoateeSaver via Link]

Just Kitting Kit: Travelling downtown we have a grooming kit specially designed to not only manage your excessive pubic hair growth, but turn it into a work of art. Each kit comes with a set of stencils that allow you to shape your pubes into patterns like a heart and a star. Unfortunately, there are no balloons, moons, rainbows, horseshoes, hats or pots of gold. [Makeup]

Sunshower Deluxe: If I have to tell you that taking a shower once in awhile is essential for attracting the ladies, there may not be any hope for you. Nonetheless, I will forge ahead with Sentavi's Sunshower Deluxe. It not only gets you clean, it also leaves you with a golden brown tan. [Sentavi via Link]


Treadmill Desk: You're fat—there is no getting around it. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and exercise. Fortunately a number of options exist that are aimed squarely at nerds. This treadmill desk with its five-display setup definitely falls into that category. [Link]

Springflex UB: The treadmill handled your cardio routine, now the Springflex will handle your strength training. As you can see, you never have to leave your precious computer when you do a workout. All you have to do is clamp the Springflex arms to your desk and get crackin' on those puny biceps. [Skymall]

Garmin Forerunner 405: If you can't afford a personal trainer, the Garmin Forerunner 405 may be the next best thing. Users can record data regarding speed, distance, heart rate and location (using built-in GPS) as well as info about courses, goals and specific workouts. It even wirelessly syncs to your computer when you enter the room. [Link]

Abdominal Etching: All the exercise and dieting in the world may not get you that six-pack that you have always wanted. That's where medical science comes to the rescue. In addition to standard liposuction, abdominal etching involves sculpting grooves in the fat layers to emphasise muscle. [Link]


Wonderjock: If basic grooming, exercise and plastic surgery are not enough, you could go the extra mile and try to throw women off. For example: the Wonderjock is quite literally a Wonderbra for men. It separates and lifts, pushing your manhood forward—which gives the appearance of enhanced size. Rumour has it that Ewan McGregor bought a ton of them. [Aussiebum]

Ugly Bags: Okay guys, it's the end of the line. If all else fails just put on an ugly bag, turn down the lights and find a woman with poor eyesight. [MyStore]

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