Sorry Gentiles, you’ll want to step aside for this one.
Listen up bubbelahs, now that the shiksas and sheygets are gone let’s kibbitz. Your diet? Not so great. Lucky for you, two new iPhone apps are designed with kosher-keepers in mind. iBlessing tells you the correct brachas for meal time, and ParveOMeter helps your milk and meat stay separate. So wipe that schmutz off your punim, get off your tuchas, and let me show you how they work.
iBlessing, a ported version of the Say-A-Blessing keychain, shows a plate filled with food—no traif, of course. Clicking on the meat, fruit, bread, wine, etc., brings up the blessing you should say over the item in question. The app has additional “bonus blessings” as well, for events like hand washing and the after meal grace. While iBlessing is supposed to recite the blessing out loud, that part hasn’t worked for me yet.
The other app, ParveOMeter, counts down the amount of time until you can eat dairy after meat and vice versa. The milk to meat setting is customisable depending on how kosher you are (zero minutes to an hour), but the meat to milk timer keeps ticking for six whole hours. The app keeps you on track too, since there is no easy way to manually stop the timer. However, when the time is up you are rewarded with a large round of applause.