Flying Priest Found Deceased in the Atlantic, God Positioning System Still Missing

Father de Carli, the flying priest who got lost last April, has been found deceased in the middle of the Atlantic. In an effort to raise funds for a local charity organisation, De Carli planned to stay for more than 19 hours up in the air using a thousand party balloons, taking a GPS with him to communicate his position in case emergency. Unfortunately for the generous man, the trip ended in disaster.

His body was found yesterday by the Anna Gabriela, a tug working for Brazilian oil company Petrobras, 1,100 kilometres from Father De Carli's starting point. His trip started on April 20 after a mass, and his last contact was a desperate attempt to learn how to use his GPS and communicate his position as the wind took him deep into the Atlantic Ocean.

I need to contact someone who can teach me how to operate this GPS, so I can give the latitude and longitude coordinates, which is the only way that people on the ground can know where I am.

An Petrobras official spokesman said that "his clothes and shoes indicate that it's him." And now I don't know if I should say "Godspeed, Padre" or "this is another candidate for the Darwin Awards."

[Editor's Note: I commend you for finding your way out of this world while trying to do some good for the rest of it. Rest in Peace, De Carli. -B.L.][Bloomberg]

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