NASA to Doomsday Asteroid Student: "Shut Up, Dimwit"

Stop looting supermarkets and get back to your homes, because NASA is saying that "doomsday" asteroid Apophis doesn't have any significant chance of impacting Earth in 2036, basically classifying the 13-year-old German student as a moronic smartypants. In fact, even if it hit, it wouldn't have been the end of the world. Or that's what we would like to believe, looking at all the information we have compiled: