Today, a tragic event of dramatic proportions hit CES 2008 in Las Vegas: Chandler Blinkers III, affectionately known as Pit by everyone at Panasonic, died in the water tank at their booth. According to the press conference held by the company, the circumstances are still unknown and police is still investigating. "He was there one moment, happily swimming, and then... then poof... gone. He was belly up. I can't start to tell—" said Panasonic spokeswoman Rosa Fernández before she couldn't hold her tears anymore and left the stage. At this time, workers are still emptying the tank where Mr. Blinkers had stayed for the past five days showcasing that, indeed, some Panasonic cameras are what Engadget's Editor-in-Chief Ryan Block technically classified as "waterproof."
Chandler Blinkers III, who died aged 89, enrolled the Royal Navy in 1940, a definitive moment in his life since he left his home coral at the Ansagna Reef in the Maldives, aged 16. Son of Sir Chandler Blinkers II, an atlantic herring from Bristol, and Lady Alfonsina Maddy, a former burlesque actress from Buenos Aires, the fish affectionally called Pit fought bravely on the Allied side against the Axis powers during World War II. During the Battle of the Atlantic, Mr. Blinkers helped sink more than three Nazi U-Boats. By 1943, Pit had already achieved the rank of captain of the Royal Navy, and was awarded the George Cross for acts of greatest heroism. By the end of the campaign, Mr. Blinkers was personally received by Winston Churchill who feed him little pieces of dry fish while he was placidly floating in a glass bowl.
After World War 2, Mr. Blinkers went on to other chores. A regular columnist at Practical Fishkeeping Monthly, where he was known for his strong views on the Tropical vs Sub-Tropical Algae debate, Mr. Blinkers wrote more than 159 books, including 97 love novels, numerous essay collections and two books of poetry dedicated to his mother Alfonsina, the sexy but motherly lionfish who took care of him during his first days at the estuary of the River Plate. "Blinkers was an amazing writer" said legendary Digg editor and famed sea sponge collector Kevin Rose, "his grasp of english language is probably only comparable to Steinbeck. And Stan Lee."
Chandler Blinkers III died on January 9. He never married, but he had a long list of lovers and unrecognized children, including five red herrings, two sardines, twelve monkfish and more than 150 anchovies in tin cans.
(WARNING: while it's absolutely 100% true that a fish died today inside the water tank used to showcase the waterproof cameras at the Panasonic's booth—thanks Tom for the pic and tip—which had to be emptied later, some of the facts about the life of Chandler Blinkers III in this report have been greatly exaggerated for dramatic purposes. In reality, he never wrote two poetry books.)
Chandler Blinkers III, rest in peace. Your friends from Gizmodo will never forget you.