Let us assume you have a girlfriend; what would you get her for Christmas? Imaginary problem solved; enter the Electric Paper Plane Launcher Educational Aid. The kit contains all the materials to construct a launch pad for paper planes, which will allow them to travel at speeds of 50km/h. Fifty freaking km/h!
If that statistic does not get your fabricated love's dopamine receptors to hypersensitive status on receipt of the gift, you are with the wrong fictional person (sorry). So what? That is one less person to get in your way when making/unleashing your paper planes at 50km/h using your $14.95 launcher kit. You can do better, buddy; a nonexistent girlfriend that refused to make out with you and continually nagged you about playing too much Xbox 360 isn't worth your effort, anyway. Keep looking, and go easy on the hallucinogens. [Product Page via Nerd Approved]