What if Uncle Ben were never shot? Peter Parker would have never learned his lesson, fought the Green Goblin or made movies. Instead, he might have become a successful real estate tycoon with the goals of making lots of money every day and banging Mary Jane every night. And he would have used this phone patent.The "Device for the Quick and Easy Use of a Small Size Cellular Telephone" hides a cellphone under your sleeve. When bad guys approach (or you just need to answer your phone), you flick your wrist and the device launches down the track into your hand.
And then a crowd of people surround you in amazement. Collapsing under duress, the mass lifts you into the air as you crowd-surf back to reality and realize, yes, this is the dorkiest patent of all time. [pwdigest via techdigest]