Giant Moron Surgically Trims Thumbs for Better iPhone Use

iphone-sizes.jpgThomas Martel surgically altered his thumbs with a new technique called "whittling" to better enable his naturally oversized digits to use his iPhone. The plastic surgeon made a small incision to each thumb, shaved down the bones, and altered his muscles and fingernails. "Sure the proceedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years...that's priceless." Too bad it makes the big man's hands look "effeminate." I'm not sure I believe this story, but if it's real, I want photos of the tranny hands. [NorthDenverNews]