The NYPD has decided to make park patrol even easier on its officers with the purchase of 10 Segways that will be deployed in the virtual warzones of Coney Island, Central Park, Prospect Park, Orchard Beach, the Bronx Zoo and Flushing Meadows-Corona Park. So far, around 25 officers are being training to pilot the fearsome two-wheeled totems of death, which will deter 4-year-olds from peeing on the trees.
Seriously, though can you imagine a cop going "Halt! Or at least slow down to under 12.5 mph!" And if they hop off to actually run after a perp (God forbid they be forced to self-propel) what's to stop someone from jacking the abandoned Segway? They should just do what the rest of New Yorkers do: walk.