Back in the year 1984, there was no Gizmodo to warn you away from lousy gadgets. Instead, you had to take your chances on products that you saw on TV. If you actually sent away US$34.95 for one of these Music Vests after seeing the commercial, however, you get no sympathy from me. Although it does look like a sweet accessory for hanging out (read: break dancing). Hit the jump for this unbelievably amazing video.
Unlike Sony’s space headphones, which made you look like a doofus, but actually sounded great, the Soundwalk speaker vest offers no such payoff. The sound is tinny, and it’s far from personal—I assaulted people near and far with a shallow, bass-less rendition Fastball’s “The Way.” The worst part? The guy told us the U.S. Army had actually purchased the camo vests. (Your tax dollars at work.) There are actually four different models of awesomely bad available.
Sometimes, you really want to be the most annoying person around. And there’s no better way to do that than pumping out music from a ridiculous vest with built-in speakers. That’s exactly what the Soundwalk vest is. A vest not really your style? Well, luckily for you it comes in backpack and jacket varieties as well, ensuring that you’ll have a chance to blast Metal Machine Music at full volume and also have an outfit that’s well coordinated. [Gearlog]
Also known as the 3rd Space Vest, the Force Feedback gaming vest from TMgames is filled with compressed air pouches in order for you to feel the pain when you’re hooked up to your console and having your butt kicked by scary aliens. Compatible with around a dozen games, including Call of Duty, Doom 3, Quake 4 and Medal Of Honor, so if you want to feel what it’s like to be knifed, shot, blown up or merely punched in the kidneys, you might think about shelling out US$169 for this. Or you could just go to the rough part of town and tell the scariest mofo you can find that you had sex with his mother last night. [TNGames Storefront via Gadget Review]
With advanced wireless technology, wearing a wire no longer means having a voice recorder or short-range radio transmitter strapped to your chest. This 3G-equipped surveillance vest can transmit a live feed anywhere in the world. There is also a panic button and GPS, which is handy when the Bad Guys notice a massive battery pack stuck to your back. The vest even has a built-in compact flash recorder for evidence if you lose cellular reception or backup doesn’t arrive in time. [PhoneMag via Gizmo Watch]
Those who have trouble with allergies (and deep pockets) may try just about anything to help alleviate their symptoms, and chances are Victorinox had these people in mind when they developed this Swiss Army Tech Vest with Air Purifier. The purifier itself is located in the left breast pocket, and it supposedly transfers purified air to the funnel collar of the jacket where it can be sucked into sensitive lungs . My guess is that this jacket is nothing more than a means of separating suffering suckers from their hard earned cash, but I’m not willing to spend the US$500 to find out if it works. [Swiss Army via Wired]
