It’s thin. There’s no viscosity at all. And it tastes like Hawaiian punch, spiked with caffeine, Twilight fangirl tears and mascara. It would be really gross at body temperature.

Twenty minutes after imbibing, my fuzzy brain can focus again. I start wondering why they don’t use real vampire blood, ’cause on True Blood it’s like meth + steroids + ecstasy, which would make it an even better mixer for Halloween parties, amiright? It has a lot of iron in it, which I actually need even less than meth.

An hour later, I definitely have the jitters. I think it’s because I had a macchiato like an hour before I drank the the blood. Want more blood to calm nerves. I resist, but get really thirsty and drink a litre of water.

Two hours later, have to pee really bad. There’s no crash, but the boost is definitely gone, two hours short of their 4-hour claim. Decide to take a nap because it’s too bright outside, now that it’s stopped raining for a week straight in New York. [Harcos]

Yes, here comes the lameness in pretty much the funkiest way of saying that something will give you a four hour energy boost I’ve seen in a while:

Blood Energy Potion is packed with iron, protein and electrolytes, providing up to four hours of energy. This blood drink features the same colour, consistency and tactile experience of real blood, quelling those otherworldly cravings that polite mortal society frowns upon. It is important to understand that Blood Energy Potion is not a treatment for Vampirism, but regular use may help control certain symptoms of Bloodlust, including:

• Unquenchable thirst
• Irritability
• Restlessness
• Inability to control behavior
• Insomnia
• Brutal, violent attacks
• Homicide

Odd choice of advertising aside, his creepy goop is now available for $US3.99 a shot (less than the six buckeroos we previously thought) and I, for one, am gonna try it out just to see if it’ll quell those homicidal urges. [Living With Bloodlust]

Lameness/creepiness aside, this is actually slightly cooler than drinking Dungeons & Dragons.

Six bucks apiece and starts shipping in January. [Urban Collector via Nerd Approved via Neatorama]

The Coffin Couch, priced at a moderate $US3,500, is the absolute most practical way to pretend that you sleep in the box of a dead man. While she’ll appreciate seeing your reanimated body sleep lifelessly in its eternal non-slumber, you’ll enjoy the foam and metal spring cushion that can be upholstered in purple, red, or black. Don’t seduce vampire fetishists just to let your back go to shit. Invest in the quality tools necessary to complete the job.

Also, be sure to pick up lots of cherry Kool-Aid. If she points out that it’s thin, just say that you drink skim to watch your figure. [Etsy via bbGadgets]

ScrollMotion has designed a book reading interface wrapper for the iPhone and partnered with major publishing houses like Simon & Schuster, Random House, Houghton Mifflin and Penguin in order to bring books like Twilight and The Golden Compass to you. At $US10.99, it’s actually MORE expensive than buying the Twilight paperback ($US6.04 on Amazon), so if you buy this it’s more of a convenience thing than a price thing.

More books will be rolling out gradually as more partners jump on. [Twilight]

• Creepy-looking cross.
• Bible.
• Hand gun and silver bullets.
• Holy oils.
• Holy water.
• Mirrors.
• Candles.
• Garlic.
• Badass wood and metal stake with added cross for vampiric extra-pain.
• Extra wood stakes, just in case.

The 19th century vampire killing kit was sold in an auction as part of the Jimmy Pippen estate, which shows that the aforementioned Jimmy Pippen was a either a complete nutcase or knew something that we don’t. Just in case, I’m making one myself. [Antiqueandthearts via Dark Roasted Blend]

The new system is being developed from a technology created at Johns Hopkins called Nanex. It uses a nano-fibre structure that replicates bone marrow, which is where red cells are manufactured. While their objective is to have a machine that could be moved to any camp and produce RBC units ready to be infused in wounded soldiers, and thus avoiding transportation and storage of blood, this research will obviously have important implications for everyone. Until then, maybe you can do a good action and donate some of your blood today. Or at least, buy a vampire a drink. [Cnet]

And you can buy it from ebay
For a bunch more days,
Just to get hold of it yourself.
It’s the Model 666, it’s the Model 666,
With a crucifix, with a crucifix.
[Ebay via BoingBoing. --Apols to Radiohead.]

Rohm estimates that around 15 billion kilowatt hours of electricity, roughly the output capacity of two nuclear reactors, are consumed every year in Japan by devices on standby. In the U.S., vampire power is estimated to cost consumers US$3 billion annually.

Experiments have already shown that an average game console could cut its power use by roughly 70% if it adopts circuits incorporating the new technology—exciting news for people like me, who tend to forget to power off their Wiis at night. Rohm says it’ll start producing the circuits on a commercial basis within a year or so. [Japan Today]