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You've seen it in a chat window. You've probably kldjhsljfalshj-ed a few yourself. In context it always makes since, but how can you properly explain the text-scream phenomenon of lakgjiosdgjitheiow? What does i;slahkdsgkuhdsj really mean?

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It finally happened. You've gone one swipe too far. You've swiped yourself into a full-on romantic entanglement: a friend has appeared on your Tinder feed. A decision must be made. Do you swipe left for no and hurt their feelings, or right for yes and freak them out? What's the right thing to do when it comes to finding your friends on Tinder?

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Mums! They gave you life, cared for you, raised you, taught you right from wrong, and most importantly, they loved you. But now that you've abandoned them to move on to bigger and better things (read: basement), mums need to fill that hole in their heart any way they can. It's time to talk about Mums on Twitter.

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Now that we all take photos of ourselves constantly, we need to evolve the way we think about our faces in photos. Specifically, we need to abandon the notion that photos of ourselves should include the entirety of our faces when those photos are actually much better with only half a face. Or to be more precise, about 63 per cent.

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You have a good side and a bad side, but everyone's bad side is a photo taken from the crotch looking up. There's a specific type of selfie that's taken like the photographer was holding the phone in his or her lap. They're not ok and no one looks good from that angle. If you're going to take a selfie, don't make it this one.

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It's a shame you can't unsubscribe from group texts. This week I was one of the recipients of a never-ending text bacchanal with a bunch of people I didn't know. But it wasn't fun or consensual. It was just a good reminder that we need to talk about text etiquette.

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Everyone's an arsehole deep down. We like to gossip, whine and complain, and talk shit. You're wrong if you think I'm not talking about you, too. And, thanks to a new trend in anonymous apps, you have an outlet for all your rumour-spreading and bellyaching.

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When Twitter announced its slow user growth last week, the company's stock went into a tailspin. But as Herb Greenberg writes over at LinkedIn, what may be hurting the service most of all might be the common — and incorrect — assumption that to enjoy Twitter, one must tweet. Quite the contrary! Twitter's at its best when you don't.

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Richard Sherman is a very talented US football player, and I, like many of you, have become a fan. It's clear that in the post-NFC championship days, he's emerged as a divisive character. No matter your opinion, when it comes to Twitter he has some very sage advice. From a post he wrote earlier this week on the MBQ...

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Recently, the dating website Zoosk conducted a study of 4000 singles to see which online dating habits were the most conducive to finding yourself your very own sex friend. One of the most peculiar bits of info gleaned from the study, though, is that fact that profiles that used the emoticon ":-)" racked up a 13 per cent net increase in replies while the ":)" would send you into a 66 per cent decline. Never underestimate the power of a nose.

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So you pulled out the big guns and you got your son (age 27 or otherwise) a console. You're justifiably excited about the Christmas morning surprise, but there's one thing you must absolutely remember to take care of before you wrap that gadget gift: Day one updates. Trust us.

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It's that special time of year where we have holiday parties to attend. Before you collapse into a drunken pile of hair and shoes and whisky smell after singing Boyz II Men with coworkers until the wee hours of the morning, you have to actually make conversation. Chat up the boss's wife! Thank the CEO for employing you another year!