Mass text invites end in chaos. Group emails are a pain in the arse and easy to forget. The Facebook Event is the cleanest, fastest way to corral everyone you want to be around in one central place, making directions, timing, and who’s bringing the potato salad a matter of clicks. Odds are, a lot (if not all) of the people you want at your backyard rager are on Facebook — so let’s do this thing without pissing anyone off.
Boyfriends, girlfriends, the pretense of courtship — can’t we just download an app for instant internet romantic gratification? Turns out, as our dystopian/utopian future becomes reality, having constant love in your life is exactly that easy. Sure, the relationship only exists online. But these days, almost nobody will ever know the difference. Now let’s start shopping.
