Colgate? Dead. Crest? Gone. Aquafresh? Don't make us laugh. Look, people—laser toothbrushes are here. That means no more tarter, cavities or root canals. Life will be better. From the manufacturer Smart Miracles:

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Everyone remembers ICQ, the first widely-used instant messaging application that's all but dead in most of the world now. The Israeli software company that developed the suite before it was purchased by AOL has just partnered with a big Israeli pharmacy company called CTS to release this ICQ toothpaste, which our tipster claims will "help P2P communication (person to person) while reducing bad breath." Weird, yet really really cool. On a related note, I've got a low six-digit ICQ number. How long is yours? [Thanks Nir!]

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Apple uses spare white for a reason: It's a pleasing, clean colour. Until it isn't. Like if your mum sets a coffee cup on top of your MacBook, or you toil away on it with especially grubby mitts. Solution? Arm & Hammer toothpaste!

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