the onion
QOTD
8:30AM Chris Oaten | The Onion brings us in its usual style a tale of woe, in which a team of international experts predicts that the combined awfulness of humankind’s descent into tastelessness will reach its lowest point at 3.22pm today. More »
Humanity Reaching Lowest Point. Today.
8:30AM Chris Oaten | The Onion brings us in its usual style a tale of woe, in which a team of international experts predicts that the combined awfulness of humankind’s descent into tastelessness will reach its lowest point at 3.22pm today. More » 
Science
Moronic Newspapers Reprint Onion’s Conspiracy Article As Fact
4:44AM Jesus Diaz | I thought some “readers” were joking when they claimed they believed the Onion’s story on a conspiracy theorist finally convincing Neil Armstrong about how the Moon landings were faked. They weren’t. Like these two newspapers, who reprinted it as fact. More »
Online
Facebook “Revolutionises How Parents Stalk College-Aged Kids”
3:00AM Mark Wilson | The Onion has drafted another startlingly important report examining how parents can use Facebook and Twitter to stay involved with their otherwise reluctant children. More »
Online
Google Offers Users Total Privacy (In An Airless, Deadly Prison)
10:20AM Dan Nosowitz | Today’s Onion News Network video attacks Google’s scary-if-you-think-about-it access to all our browsing habits and personal data. If you want privacy, no problem: Just relocate to a giant boxlike mountain prison, and you’ll be secure (and dead). Zing! More »
Phones
11:40PM Matt Buchanan | The sad thing is, if Apple did release the iPhone 3GI and claim only the truly worthy could see it, I’m sure it would go down exactly like The Onion says it would. More »
iPhone 3GI Delivers True Multitasking, But Only To People Who Really Deserve It
11:40PM Matt Buchanan | The sad thing is, if Apple did release the iPhone 3GI and claim only the truly worthy could see it, I’m sure it would go down exactly like The Onion says it would. More »
Games
4:30PM Nick Broughall | Ahh. Now Atkinson’s decision to not offer an R18+ rating is starting to make sense. Instead, violent games end up in the hands of younger kids, who are training to kill zombies. Nice.
[The Onion] More »
Are Your Children Trained To Deal With The Apocalypse?
4:30PM Nick Broughall | Ahh. Now Atkinson’s decision to not offer an R18+ rating is starting to make sense. Instead, violent games end up in the hands of younger kids, who are training to kill zombies. Nice.
[The Onion] More »
Entertainment
Kim Jong Il’s Plan to Bring the Moon to North Korea Isn’t Actually Real…Right Guys?
9:00AM Mark Wilson | Breaking news from The Onion: Kim Jong Il will transport the moon to North Korea by 2015. And it’s a plan that’s so damn crazy that it just might work. [via bbGadgets] More »
Entertainment
Ultimate Portable Sewing Machine to Make Clothing Companies Margins Increase
10:20AM Jesus Diaz | At last, good news for worldwide economy. A Bangladeshi company has released the SmartStitch, a portable sewing machine that will allow clothing factory workers to produce 24/7, with obvious benefits. More »
Gadgets
The Onion Unleashes New Fake Gift Boxes for 2008, As Awesome as Ever
8:40AM Adam Frucci | Every year, The Onion sells boxes for fake, horrible-looking products to prank unsuspecting gift-receivers with. They’ve got two new one’s this year: the iFeast and Kleen-Stride. More »
Software
