Tragic news today reported in a hard-hitting Onion exclusive. A teenage girl, capable only of texting and rolling her eyes sarcastically has been declared legally brain-dead and will be euthanased by her parents. Using this case as precedent, bodies are sure to be stacking up, judging by what I see on the subway every day.
There are a lot of sad sites at CES. But Robert Sanchez telling an empty room about his plans to sell a patent that details delivery of URLs via text message for $US60 million has to be one of the most desperate.
I love it when old people try to understand the inner workings of the teenage brain. Like if they think hard enough they’ll figure out why little Amanda sneaks out at night. Please. Kids are kids! So parents, just understand that you’ll never understand the advanced and possibly unreal sexting terminology of your kids.
We’ve all said things we don’t really mean in text messages. But when a retired Thai truck driver sent an SMS that insulted his king, he got more than he bargained for. Twenty years more, in fact.
The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority doesn’t want Pakistanis to be able to text the following words to each other, in fear that they will become rapists and murderers, or something. So it banned them. Here are those words.
Some of us like a good cuss every now and then. Others like to send dirty messages to our, err, loved ones. But in Pakistan, that’s soon to stop, as the country is banning rude text messages.
There’s a strange quirk in US carrier Verizon’s text messaging system. When entering a recipient, if their phone number doesn’t pop up with their name and you send it anyway, it may go to someone else. That someone else is often Leila.
