Tragic news today reported in a hard-hitting Onion exclusive. A teenage girl, capable only of texting and rolling her eyes sarcastically has been declared legally brain-dead and will be euthanased by her parents. Using this case as precedent, bodies are sure to be stacking up, judging by what I see on the subway every day. More »
Samantha Garvey and her family had been homeless for months before she became a finalist in Intel’s Science Talent Search. Now, she’s a White House honoree, has appeared on Ellen and Today, and has a roof over her head. This is how she got there. More »
Texting and driving is stupid. This video of a teen texting while driving shows precisely why. [Jalopnik]
Holy shit. The initial accident is bad enough, but the creators of this texting PSA, not content with the usual scare tactics, add in some flying glass and a neck crunch to hammer things home. Then the second car appears. More »
A study published in the Journal of Bioelectromagnetics, says that children aged 11 to 14 abusing predictive texting in mobile phones are turning into fast-thinking idiots. Sounds about right. Of course, lead researcher Professor Abramson doesn’t say it exactly that way. More »
Here’s an example of great priorities: a 16-year-old girl dove in front of a pickup truck to retrieve her dropped iPod.
