AU: Ms Henderson (aka Carol Brady, the mum from “The Brady Bunch”) is not extending her services to people outside of North America. Shame.

This isn’t Carol Brady’s first foray into tech support however. She was also on the front lines during the DTV conversion. Perhaps that, along with her confusion regarding the intricacies of her own mobile phone provided the inspiration to start up FloH.

“I didn’t grow up with this technology,” she said. “It’s like learning a new language.”

Now, as a proficient text-messenger, Skyper and active member on Facebook, she wants to help others learn to do the same.

FloH memberships run $US25 for a month or $US250 for the year and includes access to their telephone support network for any computer-related queries. For an additional $US50, users can participate in one-time personal training session on issues ranging from setting up a Facebook account to tuning up your PC. In other words, it’s quite a racket. Although, Florence doesn’t have to be the one manning the phones from 8am to 2am. To those people all I can say is…Godspeed. [FloH and NYT]

Our young supportsman (not a word) hasn’t yet been convicted of a crime, and deserves the benefit of the doubt, but the alleged victim’s account of the scenario is pretty spectacular (that’s him above, with the shiner):

“The guy essentially snapped. He cold-cocked me, hit me two or three solid shots to the head while my hands were down,” said Isakson, a limo driver.

But surely Mr, Isakson was being a dick, or something, right? Right? Well, if you count asking an angry-seeming man for his ID before you let him into your house in Queens as being a dick, then yes. Back to the violence:

But things got uglier, Isakson said, when Benjamin squeezed him around the neck and pressed him up against the wall.

“He’s prepared to kill me,” Isakson said. “That’s all I could think of.”

Isakson said he broke free and ran down the stairs — fracturing his ankle along the way — to get help in his building’s lobby.

For what it’s worth, Verizon did eventually fix the problem, though they apparently didn’t need to send anyone into Isakson’s home in the first place. Service! [New York Post]

By pointing your browser at their performance website, you can check to see what the average call queue was for the past 24 hours, as well as the average wait time for each type of customer support call..

It’s still in beta, and has obviously only been publicly running for a week or so, because there isn’t a lot of data on the page just yet. But as this service rolls on, there’s only goodness that can come from it. I mean, if you have a non-urgent tech support question, you’ll be able to pick a time when the average wait time is significantly less, based on what you read in the tables on the Internode site. And that can only be a good thing.

[Internode]

According to Veit–Editor in Chief of Computer Shopper magazine from 1983 to 1988–Steve Jobs contacted him when his computer shop in New York was taking off big time. On the phone, Steve convinced him about having to check out this amazing new computer, which according to the Jobster was “insanely great” (or something like that). Jobs wanted him to distribute it and, after talking for a bit, Veit agreed to give it a try. To his surprise, it arrived the next day FedEx delivered a package C.O.D. for five hundred dollars.

It was the first Apple computer ever, the Apple I.

He gave the computer to Dave, one his best tech guys, who was surprised at its minuscule size compared to the usual computers at the time. After a while, Dave set up the computer but it didn’t do anything, so Veit called “Apple”

“See! It works,” Dave told me.

“What does it do?” I asked.

“Nothing! It needs a keyboard. I’ll get one,” Dave told me.

Dave came back with one of our SWTPC keyboards and wired it in after studying the schematic.

“Don’t work,” he told me. “Better call ‘em.”

So I called the number listed in the paperwork and asked for Steve.

“Which one?” the young man at the other end asked.

“The fast talker,” I told him.

“Oh, Steve Jobs. Wait a minute.”

Steve came on the line, and I told him the keyboard didn’t work.

“What kind of keyboard did you use? Southwest? Nah, they won’t work. I’ll send a good one and some software tomorrow.”

“Wait.” I told him I didn’t need it FedExed next day, I could wait. But too late, he was gone.

Veit’s feature is full of personal insight on those times and, while there’s always two sides to a story, I find it extremely amusing, specially his last remarks:

Lunch was served to the press and notables, and I was seated with Steve Wozniak’s parents. Introducing myself, I struck up a conversation with them and in the course of discussion I mentioned that people were often shaking their heads when I mentioned that I had refused Steve Jobs’ offer of 10 percent of Apple for an investment of $10,000.

Mrs. Wozniak said, “Don’t feel bad, you were not the first person Jobs offered stock in the company for a small investment. When the boys needed printed circuit boards, Jobs offered an interest in the company to the man who did the boards. However they managed to pay for the boards and the man never got any stock. When Apple went public, Jobs would not give stock to several employees who made the Apple possible. My son gave them stock out of his allotment, or they would have never benefited from the long hours and devotion they put in to start the company. If you had given Jobs the money, he would have found a way to keep you from getting the stock.”

Ouch. Follow the link to read the entire feature. [Computer Shopper]

For either $US66 or $US90, you can receive unlimited GearHead support for six months or twelve months, respectively. This service includes help with hooking up and/or troubleshooting most devices that interface with your in-home broadband, such as routers, computers, printers, scanners and VoIP devices, not to mention support for the Windows platform, MS Office, and Adobe Acrobat. GearHead also provides a desktop client that will let their technicians go in and remotely control your desktop.

The pay-per-incident works a little different. There’s the Internet Access service which, for roughly $US37 will provide you 30 minutes of remote assistance in getting your internet connected properly. For about $US50 you can buy the PC Tune Up service, where a technician will go in and remove useless files and programs, bugs from your registry and adware.

While, most you techies have no problem keeping their home networks running in tip top shape, I’m sure you have parents, grandparents and siblings who can’t help but constantly keep their computers in a state of disarray. When you get tired of playing computer repair man, you can now just point them over to GearHead and wipe your hands clean of the whole ordeal. More information on GearHead can be found over at [Netgear].

NETGEAR® GearHead Services Provide Affordable, 24×7 Technical Support Service to Help Consumers Resolve PC-Related Problems

New One-Stop Technical Support Service Provides Remote Support for Computers, Peripherals, Software, and Other Computer-Related Products

SANTA CLARA, Calif. — November 18, 2008 — NETGEAR, Inc. (NASDAQGM: NTGR), a worldwide provider of technologically innovative, branded networking solutions, today announced the launch of NETGEAR GearHead Services, a comprehensive, affordable 24×7 remote technical support service that provides consumers with a one-stop resource for troubleshooting and resolving many of the most common computer-related problems in the home. One of the first of such comprehensive services from a consumer electronics vendor, the GearHead program is designed to ensure the best possible home networking experience for consumers that want to make the Internet their primary communications and entertainment platform for the Digital Home.

NETGEAR’s GearHead Services provide 24×7 PC and network support on both a subscription and pay-per-incident basis. SupportPak 6 and SupportPak 12 provide six or twelve months of unlimited 24×7 phone-based technical support to help consumers resolve a variety of issues related to computer hardware, home networking, Windows operating systems, Microsoft Office applications, and antivirus and antispyware programs. NETGEAR also offers two pay-per-incident services including the Internet Access Service, which helps consumers to troubleshoot and correct hardware- or software-based Internet access problems, and the PC Tune Up Service, which steps consumers through the process of eliminating unnecessary files, adware and unused programs to optimise performance of the PC. Interested parties can find out more here.

“While NETGEAR has always been dedicated to delivering the best possible end-user experience across our broad line of wired and wireless networking products and networked devices, getting all of the hardware and software components of a computer system to communicate and work together can be complicated and frustrating,” stated Winston Sze, Senior Service Product Manager at NETGEAR. “Consumers don’t care whether their computer problem is hardware or software related – they simply want the problem resolved as quickly as possible. Our new GearHead Services eliminate the frustrating exercise of having to speak with the tech support groups for a variety of different vendors by providing consumers with 24×7 access to an affordable one-stop technical support hotline that will help them troubleshoot and repair almost any computer-related issue.”

One of the most important aspects of the GearHead program is its vendor neutrality and focus on solving problems unrelated to NETGEAR products. The GearHead SupportPaks provide hardware support for desktop and notebook PCs, wired and wireless routers, modems, printers, scanners, fax machines, USB PC devices, home networking devices, and sound cards. In addition, technical support is provided for software-related issues with Windows operating systems (2000, XP or higher), Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Outlook, and Adobe Acrobat, in addition to anti-virus and anti-spyware software from McAfee, Norton, AVG, eTrust, and BitDefender. The GearHead SupportPak 6 and SupportPak 12 provide six or 12 months of unlimited technical support for only $65.95 USD and $89.95 USD, respectively.

The pay-per-incident services provided by NETGEAR GearHead includes the Internet Access Service, which provides up to 30 minutes of remote technical support for customers experiencing problems with accessing the Internet. The GearHead PC Tune Up Service helps customers eliminate unnecessary files, adware and unused programs to improve their PC’s performance. The Internet Access and PC Tune Up Services are priced at $36.50 per incident, and $49.50, respectively.

One of the two managers interviewing told him that it actually didn’t matter how many he was able to answer—most of the staff can’t even answer half of them, stuff like:

• What is special about the Mac Pro’s current Ram setup?
• What is Automator and what does it do?
• If a user account keeps crashing on login what do you do?
• What are 3 keyboard combinations you can boot your computer with?
• Are you familiar with OS 9?
• If a customer asks you to sync music from their iPod to computer, what do you say?
• How do you answer a customer who wants to share music with his friend via iTunes?

If you can pass that weak filter—I don’t even own a Mac (unless you count my recently built Hackintosh) and I can answer five of those—you’ll be welcomed into a loving environment that is ” ‘very strict’ with its employees and what they do with their free time.” Lovely, but Aviv turned the offer down.

It just shows you that Geniuses are no different from any corporate tech support group, be it Geek Squad, Firedog or Crapkitty Battalion: Some of them really know their shit, but almost (or just) as many don’t know the command key from that gaping, screaming hole in Steve Ballmer’s face. [Macblogz via Valleywag, Image via presta]

You see, today Dell and Gizmo announced that they were going to get intimate, with Gizmo services like setting up your Dell PC or setting up a wireless network available as an optional extra when purchasing a new Dell machine.

While it’s highly unlikely that anybody reading this would need tech support to set up their own computer, this could be the kind of thing that you purchase for your own mum or dad when buying them a PC, so you can save yourself the 1,742 phone calls about how to get the computer working or, in John Mayer’s case, finding an application.

Pricing is a bit on the expensive side, but look at it this way: they have to put up with all of those inane questions from old people so you don’t have to. Isn’t that worth something?

Pricing is below:

Stand alone services include:

Set Me Up – providing assistance with setting-up new Dell computers, transferring files or installing hardware and software for AUD$149.
Network Me – providing assistance with setting-up wireless networks and the devices connected to them, such as Dell laptops and Dell wireless printers, for AUD$169.

Combined services include:
Set Me Up and Network Me – providing assistance setting-up Dell computers and creating a new home network for the special price of AUD$243.50.
Set Me Up and Show Me – providing assistance setting-up Dell computers and training for an hour on how to use them for the special price of AUD$223.50.

As I hinted: Not so expensive if you consider the frustration you’ll be avoiding.

[Dell]

You all know we are not fans of John–one of Steve Jobs’ favourite pop heads–but having experienced similar situations with family and friends, we absolutely sympathise with his frustration.

…

OK, you are right. We don’t. [Tumblr -- Video no longer available -- Thanks Benny and Richard]

Wal-Mart and Dell are testing the Solution Station by Dell in 15 Dallas stores, and they’ll do things like repair PCs and set up home entertainment and wireless networking stuff sold by Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart and tech support just don’t compute in my brain. On the bright side, I’m sure this’ll mean lots of fun posts for the Consumerist crew. [WSJ]