I mean, the manual for the ride-on lawnmower did not specifically state that you couldn’t raise it up with a crane to trim the top of a very large hedge, so that’s just what two lunatics from Cambridge New Zealand did.

“The mower was doing an all-right job, but I reckon it would work better on a hedge that’s not so spiky.”

Maybe they need one of those Zero-Turn mowers with a larger cutting deck instead of a basic lawn tractor. Yeah, that’s the problem with this whole setup. [Stuff NZ via Fark]

Yes, that’s right. Hangtime encourages you to throw your mobile phone, worth at least $719, into the air as high as you can, with the hope that you can catch it on the way back down.

And what do you get for such reckless pleasure? Why, you get a readout of the accelerometer data from the throw, including the time it was in the air to the number of throws you’ve completed. You can compare your best results with the top throws from other morons users around the globe.

That sounds totally worth it, doesn’t it?

The app’s one saving grace is the disclaimer:

“IMPORTANT NOTE: Use of this application can be dangerous; follow all safety procedures at all times. Make sure your iPhone is secured and protected from potential damage.”

Well thank heavens for that! Now all I have to do is find an iPhone case capable of protecting my phone from the impact of being dropped from 20 metres. That shouldn’t be too hard…

[I'd put a link in here, but I don't want to encourage anyone to buy such a stupid app... – Thanks Relics!]

During the investigation of a burglary at a home in Pinhole California, officers heard a mobile phone ring. On the other end a man asks “Hey, did you find my phone?”

Realizing that this might be a mobile phone accidentally left at the scene by the burglar, Officer Uri Nieves played along and offered to return the phone at a local Boys and Girls Club. Criminal mastermind Antony Ramirez arrived at the scene at the predetermined time in a stolen Nissan 350Z and was promptly swarmed by police, but he managed to flee the scene on foot. Later, the police discovered that Ramirez was also wanted for a shooting death last year.

The police eventually caught up with him thanks to the fact that Ramirez was unable to put 2 and 2 together regarding the mobile phone drop-off. He continued to text message the phone in an attempt to arrange a meeting to get it back. Unfortunately for us, the reports fail to mention what brand of mobile phone was so damn important that a wanted murderer was willing to stick his neck out to get it back. Needless to say, even a solid gold iPhone wouldn’t be worth it. [SFGate]

Here’s an example of great priorities: a 16-year-old girl dove in front of a pickup truck to retrieve her dropped iPod.

The girl was walking across the street on Tuesday when she dropped her iPod. She went back to grab it in moving traffic and was, unsurprisingly, hit by the approaching pickup truck. She suffered a broken leg, but hey, her iPod is OK! Totally worth it. [WESH via The Daily What]

SGP is selling these metallic stickers which go on and around the LCDs, panels and other parts of gadgets. Some look okay, like the HTC phone above. Some are far worse.

This DSLR is tricked out exactly how I imagine a greasy paparazzi would carry a new Canon 5D Mark II as he stalked his celebrity prey. You know, to match heavy necklaces and tooth fixtures.

And look, my Macbook can now carry all the appeal of an old station wagon or the walls of my friend’s basement in New Jersey, during high school.

The garment’s described objective is to allow marriage-minded women to essentially wear their ambitions, with a chest-mounted countdown clock (to what?) , pen and seal holster (for signing marriage contracts), and a ring receptacle that beeps “The Wedding March” when filled.

The whole assemblage looks like it would attract more unsolicited boob-touches than marriage proposals, but boob-touching is a known precursor to matrimony. Fact. In other news, somewhere in a quiet suburb of Tokyo, a retired feminism professor just swallowed a gun.

Since it’s not currently up for sale, and because it’s, well, patently ridiculous, the bra is a jokey publicity stunt more than anything else. But that didn’t stop Japanese news outlets from covering it to death, as seen below. As the old saying goes, “If it bleeds involves semi-nude women, it leads.” [Reuters via Japanprobe]

Taking it to the next level will only cost you $US37,518. [Stuart Hughes]

The Laptop Hunters price assault on Macs has shifted to iPod and iTunes: It’d cost $US30,000 to fill an iPod, but Zunepass fills up a Zune for cheap. This is a retarded ad.

Why? Because it ultimately cheapens what it’s promoting as a consequence. Zune 3.0 is fantastic in its own right—better than iTunes in many ways for music lovers—and Zunepass’s 10 free songs a month is a legitimately brilliant stroke. This throws away everything that’s great about Zune for some stupid price argument that’s going to sway precisely nobody, since everybody downloads music illegally anyway.

How about just telling people what’s great about Zune? That’s what Apple does, and it seems to be working pretty well. [YouTube via Ars via Engadget]]

See, while the Swine Flu may have not been as bad as originally thought, the fact is that it’s better to be overly protective than sorry. Or at least, that’s what governments think.

It’s just like anti-terrorist airport controls. These were increased to stupid levels after September 11 with measures like arbitrary limits on liquids, “Please Remove Laptop From Bag” rules, and the now-classic “Please Remove Your Shoes and Coat”—measures that only add hassle without actually increasing security. Not only they have been bypassed and rendered useless in countless occasions, but there are dozens of security breakpoints around airports everywhere that can be used by the bad guys to do bad things, even now.

We got those measures and everyone gladly accepted them, getting back to sleep into this false dream of total safety, all thanks to this daily airport security show and tell.

The same will happen with medical controls. Thermal scanners and cybersniffers capable of detecting viruses and germs designed to do the same thing: Give everyone a false sense of health safety.

It will be false because, until the technology is truly omniscient and really can detect the tiniest amount of any virus in any stage of development, the barrier will never be real. And even then, there will be other entry points for the virus. You just can’t put barriers in the air. You can try to contain, but at the end is a battle we are going to lose. At least for the time being.

Right now the fact is that, no matter how many controls we put in airports, if there’s a real outbreak of something really really nasty, with no cure whatsoever, we are fucked. Big time.

In the meantime, we will all get to re-enact that airport checkpoint scene from Total Recall every time we go on a trip. I can’t wait. [Boston.com]