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Texts From Malcolm Reveals What Our New PM Does On His Phone All Day

Tony had his onions, but it seems like a smartphone is a far more fitting symbol for a former Communications Minister. At least that’s what Instagram account @textsfrommalcolm has gone with. It’s an account that captions photos of our new Prime Minister looking bored on his phone in Parliament, with imaginings of just who he is sending his important texts to. It seems like @textsfrommalcolm has been pro-Turnbull since day one — or at least from back in March when its first photo was posted — explaining their choice in politicians with the simple caption: ‘Because Tony Abbott doesn’t have opposable thumbs.’

Hilarious Video About Handmade Firewood Skewers Every Artisanal Video

We’re as guilty as anybody for propping up the process of making handmade goods and artisanal products but the truth is, they’re really fascinating to watch. But of course, being totally obsessed and narrowly focused with something can come with a lack of self awareness which makes the whole artisanal movement an easy target to poke fun of. That’s why this wonderful satire is so perfect. Handmade firewood that sells for $1000 a bundle.

This Is How Much San Franciscans Hate Burning Man Now

Every year, San Francisco empties out during Burning Man week. Suddenly there are no lines at the cargo container ice cream shop. Nobody is wearing an “interesting” hat to make a statement about self-actualisation. We are at peace. That’s why a group of comedians are crowdsourcing a Great Wall of San Francisco.

Mean Tweets Just Landed An Emirati Man In Prison For 10 Years

An Emirati national was sentenced to 10 years in prison for badmouthing political leaders on social media. In addition to locking Al Wadhi up, the Federal Supreme Court in Abu Dhabi shut down the account and confiscated documents related to the trash-talking.

21 Bizarre Maps That Depict Nations As Animals, People, And Monsters

Allegorical, satirical, and comic or serio-comic maps were one of the most popular ways of distributing political propaganda leading up to the Second World War. With countries depicted as human figures, animals, or even monsters, these maps attempted to represent more than just geography — and in doing so, exposed the political biases and sometimes even bigotry of the author.

How To Actually Catch Santa This Christmas

Some magical fat guy in a red suit thinks he’s coming into your house as he pleases in the middle of the night?! Not on your watch. Here’s what you’ll need to start your own personal War on Christmas.

Clickhole Congratulates You On Your Terms Of Service Speed-Reading

How many times have you clicked “Agree” to the thousands upon thousands of words in iTunes terms of service agreements after just a few seconds? Twenty times? Fifty? Man — that is some world class speed-reading.

Clickhole's New Transportation App Walks All Over Uber And Lyft

Searching for a transportation app that puts simplicity and elegance first? The satirical masterminds at Clickhole have a new startup that lets you arrive in style no Uber or Lyft car could possibly match. Check out Whysk.

The Onion Profiles A New Kindle That Brags About Your Taste In Books

Bookworms who’ve baulked at upgrading to an ereader have a long list of reasons why they won’t give up their paper copies. But there’s only one real reason why anyone would carry around a book anymore: It lets them show off what they’re reading in public. And as The Onion reveals, that’s what led Amazon to create a new version of the Kindle that shouts the title of your current book so everyone knows how well read you are.

This Australian Video Is A Satirical Glimpse Of Earth's Dystopian Future

Video: Made by Duncan Elms, this video imagines a future where Earth has been ravaged by wars, cyclones, food shortages, destructive weather and horrible humans and turned into areas of uninhabitable zones. And yet cities would still make bids to host the Olympic Games, even if they’re during a nuclear winter.

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