Sure, the Wii might actually have a shot at keeping awkward conversation to a minimum, but it faces the same problem that the Commodore 64 had when it reigned supreme: You’ll still probably be booted from the TV when the football starts.

Technologizer has collected 10 of the most disturbingly perky tech ads from the 1980s, and it’s a fun look at how far we’ve (sorta) come. [Technologizer]

In the olden days of pinball, there wasn’t much to adjust. Free game scores were hard wired into the machine and couldn’t be changed. But with the introduction of Williams High Speed in 1986, things got more complicated.

The new machines would dynamically adjust the free play score based on an algorithm. It also introduced a method where if you had already scored a free game, it was impossible to win a random free game.

The post goes into much more detail over at Cheap Talk, but ultimately, these algorithms exploits, and the layouts of the tables themselves got so complicated that new players couldn’t figure out how to master them. And, as we all know, pinball faded into the night. If you’re at all a fan of pinball, it’s an interesting read. Head on over to check it out. [Cheap Talk via Retro Thing]

Image via ktpupp

Leica M7: DSLR schmeeSLR. Digital photography still can’t match the old-school beauty of film, and Leica’s M7 35mm camera is one of the best and most gorgeous out there. It’s the kind of gift you’d hand down to your grandkids, partly because it’ll last forever and partly because it costs enough that you need several lifetimes to get your money’s worth. The M7 also has an even-more-decadent Hermes edition which clocks in at $US14,000, but the normal M7 is available now and would send any prosumer DSLR-owner into fits of jealousy. $US5500 [Gizmodo; Leica]

Retro-Gen: Modern video games are so complicated, so expensive, so… 3D. A true retrophile isn’t interested in Modern Warfare 2, but could be persuaded to play a little Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Streets of Rage 2 or Toejam and Earl 2: Panic on Funkotron. The Retro-Gen, a little sorta-legal handheld emulator, will play either original Genesis cartridges or ROMs that you’ve loaded onto an included SD card. Plus, the entire system costs less than some modern DSi or PSP games. $US38 [Gizmodo; Video Game Central Store]

French Press: Here’s one where an irrational fear of the new is totally justified. Your typical fancy, electronic drip coffee-maker spits out watery, bitter, brown liquid only technically identifiable as coffee, while the French press (basically a glass jug with a mesh screen plunger) produces rich, delicious coffee, retaining the essential oils that give a true depth of flavour. Not only is it older, simpler and cheaper, it’s flat-out better. $US20 [Bodum French Press]

Set of 11 Kenny Loggins Albums on Vinyl: You know what, this is a great gift for anyone, retrophile or not. Even if you don’t have a turntable, 11 of these albums would make excellent wall art. Matter of fact, I might just buy these myself. Go find your own Kenny Loggins vinyl collection! $US10 [eBay]

iPod Classic: Multitouch? OLED? Wi-Fi? Widescreen video? What about the good old days, when convergence was a crazy futuristic concept and PMPs were called MP3 players, because, well, that’s all they did. The iPod Classic is just about the only traditional hard drive–based PMP left on the market, and while it’s better than ever (thin, long battery life, spacious 160GB hard drive), it’s still a relic of the past. I mean, seriously, a click wheel? What is this, 2007? $329 at the Australian Apple Store [Gizmodo; Apple Store]

Classic Prints From The Onion: The comedy gods over at The Onion have their very own gifts for retro-minded buyers, creating “classic” Onion front pages from times in the publication’s fictional history (what, you didn’t know it was founded in the mid-18th century as “The Mercantile Onion” by Friedrich Siegfried Zweibel?). The all-time classic is “Holy Shit: Man Walks on F—king Moon”, but “Whites Invent ‘Rock and Roll’” and “Mr. T Releases ‘Pity List ‘86′” are both pretty amazing things to hang on your wall, too. Guaranteed to stop passersby and give them the giggles. $US33 each, framed and matted [Onion Store]

Trip to the Computer History Museum: You can be a retrophile and still love tech, and the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, California is arguably the best place in the world to revel in the fascinating history of technological advancement. Right now, they’re celebrating the 50th anniversary of the integrated circuit, examining the history of computer chess and visible storage, and remembering Charles Babbage, inventor of the first automatic computing engine. Among those constantly rotating exhibits are jewels like the Cray 1 supercomputer, the world’s first Ethernet cable and a Tandy TRS-80. Free admission, but arrange your own flights… [Gizmodo; CHM Site]

DON’T BUY A Modern Smartphone: Anybody who yearns for the old days is going to find the idea of a powerful, always-connected pocket computer pretty threatening. Today’s smartphones are as powerful as the best desktop computers from 10 years ago and are only getting better. An iPhone, BlackBerry or HTC Magic might well explode a retrophile’s mind all over his face. But if he’s submitted to peer pressure and allowed a thoroughly modern iPhone into his classic-rock life, we do have one recommendation: The iRetroPhone iPhone app, which simulates an old rotary phone. $1.19 [iTunes]

Don’t forget to recommend your own favourite retro-centric gifts in the comments.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favourite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We’ll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

[Etsy via Obsolete]

This vintage Swedish jukebox, the AMI I (1958), was photographed by Flickr user woodztream with an almost divine level of hipness through HDR (high dynamic range) techniques.

And for a moment, I wonder if my iPhone has destroyed style, not defined it. [flickr via Unplggd]

That’s the starting eBay bid for this motherboard. According to the original invoice included in the auction package — dated December 7, 1976 — he also was the one filling the sales forms. At least this one, which says Steven. Since it was only him and Woz at the time — and the latter was always busy creating beautiful electronics and calling the Pope — it’s pretty safe to say that this was indeed Apple’s current CEO and then CEO, CFO, CMO, COO and CLSDI. The original package has Steve Jobs’ parents as the return address:

It includes:

• The computer itself
• The original shipping box, with Steve Jobs’ parents’ house as a return address
• The original manual, with schematics to build your own Apple 1
• The tape interface card
• The manual for the tape interface
• A plain Scotch-brand cassette tape with a simply-typed label “BASIC” that came with the unit
• A letter, signed by Steven Jobs in 1976, explaining connecting a keyboard and monitor, as well as detailing when dealer applications would be available
• An original full-page glossy advertisement for Apple, included when the Apple 1 computer was shipped. (The ad is almost unrecognisable as an Apple ad due to its elaborate Isaac Newton logo. The artist who drew that logo was the third original partner in Apple Corp. His stake in Apple was bought out for a couple thousand dollars when the company started getting serious).
• Photographs of all prior owners of this unit.

The Apple I was the first Apple computer. The two Steves started to sell it on July 1976. The price then was $US666.66. At the time all computers needed to be assembled, but the Apple I was a motherboard — assembled by themselves at Jobs parents’ garage — was ready to connect to a keyboard, monitor and cassette player. [eBay via Tuaw]

According to Ron van der Ende:

I collect old doors and stuff. Old painted wood that I find in the street. I take it apart and skin it to obtain a 3mm thick veneer with the old paint layers still intact. I construct bas-reliefs that I cover with these veneers much like a constructed mosaic. I do not paint them!

I want some of these so badly. [Ron van der Ende via Diskursdisko via Neatorama]

First, and most obvious, is because it makes for a bizarre juxtaposition between the ancient OS 9 (or OS 8, or Systems 6 and 7) and Twitter, and self-consciously modern online service that would’ve seemed ridiculous in the age of the Bondi Blue iMac. And second, because the tiny slice of the population who still earnestly uses OS 9 is either clinically paranoid, hasn’t read a software review since the year 2000, or is stuck with a 10-year-old desktop by some truly bizarre or unfortunate circumstance, all of which would make for some top-rate tweeting.

See you on Tweetmeme, @ClintonLied_Y2K, and @Ivebeenlockedinthebasementagainstmywillsinceiwas4! [Retards.org via Gartenberg's Twitter]

In 1985, people thought Laserdiscs would be the future of cinema. After all, they had unmatched picture quality, they were virtually indestructible and they had a lot of extras. Just like Blu-ray. See what I did there? See? [Obsolete]

The Stereo Realist Model 81 3-D Slide Projector was manufactured in 1950 by the David White Sales Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. It has dual lenses — with 3.5-inch focal length, f.2.8 aperture — and runs on two 500-watt bulbs which are cooled by two separate fans.

Not old school enough for you? Fear not, my dear readers, for you have to feed this thing two slides at a time — to create the stereo image — by hand: There’s a slide tray on the top of the projector, with a rotary carrier that pushes the slides when you push a handle on its back.

The projector is for sale on eBay, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the great Ralph McQuarrie owned one of these. [eBay via Star Wars Blog]