I will never understand why some religious groups keep whining about the most inane sexual things, from Susan Storm's bra size to Princess Peach's underpants, but the last protest by religious group "Focus On The Family"--urging people to bully American Airlines for their in-flight unfiltered wireless internet access--makes me want to start slapping them right, left and centre. Apparently, "Focus On The Family" is imagining row after row of seat screens full of all kinds of human, animal, and mini-fig genitalia. Their senior analyst for media and sexuality--take that Dr. Ruth--David Weiss had this very stupid thing to say:

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Just before Christmas we learned that a baby Jesus statue in a Bal Harbor Florida nativity scene was being equipped with GPS to ensure that a theft earlier in the month would not be repeated. Apparently, a similarly equipped statue from a nativity in Wellington Florida actually resulted in the arrest of 18 year old Danielle Santino after she stole the statue on December 26th. She has since been charged with grand theft. So what is going on here? Is there some sort of underground baby Jesus crime ring terrorizing southern Florida? [Local 6 via Fark]

The Christianity 2.0 movement continues in South Florida, where the town of Bal Harbour received a GPS-equipped Baby Jesus statue to replace a previously stolen Baby Jesus staute. A Cincinnati lawyer donated the statue after hearing about the theft in early December.

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If you have some really precious data that could use a little protection from above, you are in luck. This Virgin Mary flash drive will store up to 512MB of data and safeguard it from evil. When connected to the computer her LED heart will glow and "beat" —increasing in intensity when information is being transferred. Sure it costs €69 (or $115), but can you really put a price on protection straight from heaven? [Product Page via Ship of Fools via BB Gadgets]

We have no idea what this is about, but it looks dope. So dope, we are considering returning to religion. Amen. Anyone (really) know what this is about? If not, shoot up your witty observations after the jump anyway. [UrbanRetroLifeStyle]

What would convince your good selves to stop reading Gizmodo on a Sunday morning in favour of attending Holy Communion? A $15 iTunes voucher, you say? Church by the Glades, in Florida, hears you.

In an effort to bribe new members, Church by the Glades will be handing out $15 iTunes vouchers to attendees of their iThemed services. The bribe will run for three weekends, but it looks like you have just missed the first. In return you will have to complete a connection card. We imagine selling your soul to the devil will not be permitted thereafter. That rules us out—he was really convincing with the whole, "I'm a ton of fun" speech.

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Believe it or not, when we say "Jesus Phone", we mean it as a joke. – Mark Wilson Yes, This Is Real... OK, It's Fake

(Not our Jesus, of the Diaz variety.) The iRosary is a conceptual design by Tino Dobra that connects the iPod to headphones via a cross rosary. Traditional rosaries include beads, but for this hip iPod version the included single bead is a bit different:

The position of the bead can be measured and heard as audio beads on a sensitive range of the cable. Due to technical possibilities, the new rosary can help a person to learn the prayer; the right mysteries are inserted automatically and there are various modes for choosing the degree of difficulty.

I guess the iRosary was designed to be more attractive for the kids and their damned iPods, but the whole bead/prayer challenge seems a bit much. –Travis Hudson

iRosary [Yanko]