Arrr. There be gadgety plunder in this here story. According to legend, a company from the United Kingdom be using MP3 players to deter pirates from stealing their ships and making their cap'n walk the plank. Gone be the days of a grand old sword fight between seamen and pirates, it seems. Instead, the seamen be usin' something by the name of LRAD, which be standin' for "Long Range Acoustic Device", which blasts out warnin' messages at the Jolly Roger. And while it won't be sendin' you down to see Davey Jones, it will be causin' ya a great deal of pain if ya be gettin' to within a couple of hundred metres of the seaman's ship. Arrr. If ya be gettin' any closer than that, you be losin' your hearin' for good. An' no self-respectin' pirate be wantin' that, now, do they?

If ya be doubtin' the power of the humble MP3 player, know dis: the LRAD anti-piracy device be used last week against some Somali pirates off the coast of Yemen. Got within' 600 metres or so, they did, before they pointed there guns in the air and attacked another ship. Now I know what ye be thinkin': How do I get me hands on one of them there LRAD devices. Well, you can be hirin' a team of ex-military goons to be usin it for you for 14,000 pounds for three days. But that be plenty of time to plunder plenty of ships, methinks. Arrr.

[Agence France-Presse via PopSci]

Wii shortages at Christmas time are officially a crummy holiday tradition, like fruitcakes, gift cards for crappy stores and whiskey-soaked fake Santas. This year, though, it's because of pirates. No really. The Suez Canal is infested with Somali pirates (who've already stolen 1000 Wiis), so companies are diverting shipments around the Cape of Good Hope, resulting in a three week shipping delay. We've got one question for Nintendo: Where the hell are your ninjas?

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Are you at work? Really? Didn't you know today was a holiday? Yep, in Redmond at least, it's Global Anti-Piracy Day. To celebrate, there will be simultaneous "legal actions, education efforts and customer reactions announced across 49 countries." Microsoft has actually picked a pretty great way to fight pirates: If there's one thing they hate besides ninjas, it's the law and schoolin'.

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Piracy on the high seas is a growing problem, so the Navy's latest lightweight fighter, the Littoral Combat ship, has a system specially designed to knock out pirates without killing them (so it obviously don't use ninjas). The Running-Gear Entanglement System, developed by the Coast Guard, is decidedly low-tech—basically a floating net that jams up smaller boats' propellers, leaving them stranded if they breach the perimeter, and easy targets for boarding.

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Arrgh, maties! You be in need of a cannon to belay your foes? The sea dogs over at Instructables have a set of instructions to arm your jollyboat. But worry not, there be fair waters ah—

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Thanko's Sounds Live magnetic earphones aren't quite in-the ear, and they don't have a head-strap: instead these odd gizmos clip onto your earlobe and have a speaker that points roughly into your ear canal. I guess it's kinda like the the bone-conducting type headphones in that you can hear your surroundings, and if you're listening to music while jogging then the magnets mean they probably won't fall off (though your lobes may take a pounding). Plus they're designed to be decorative, acting like "real" earrings...and there's a skull and crossbones version—perfect, me hearties, since it's international Talk Like a Pirate Day. Out in Japan for around $US18. [Product via Akihabaranews]

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The boardroom is tense. Your boss is negotiating with their boss over the Big Merger. Accountants discuss endless piles of financial statements. Somewhere a middle manager is getting grilled over an $800 dinner spotted in the audit. There are tears in his eyes and sweat on his brow. And there you are, feet up on the desk with an LED pirate mug in hand. You and your stock options have nothing to worry about because you're quitting/getting fired anyway. Good thing that mug only cost you US$4. [The Big Pirate via Nerd Approved]

Needless to say, if you have the cash to drop on a Pirates of the Caribbean themed home theatre, getting booty probably isn't your problem—financially or sexually. For owners Paul and Emily Konold, the motivation wasn't to impress or even to pay homage to the movie franchise, it was all about recreating the fun they experienced on the original ride at Disneyland.

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Did your stupid, stupid coworkers piss you off back on talk like a Pirate day? You know, that fake holiday that lets people who think they're funny, but actually not, annoy the crap out of you by elongating the R's in every word? Today, The Day of the Ninja, is your chance to get back at them. Here are some ninja gadgets to do so.

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Pirates are stupid. Ninjas are where it's at. But if you somehow have the misguided notion that pirates are cool, there's this iPhone pirate app that lets you take a picture of someone and make them into a pirate.

See how stupid that guy looks? Making him a pirate just makes him look stupider. If he were a ninja, you wouldn't need a hat, a mustache and a beard. You'd need a eraser, because ninjas are frickin' invisible. You know how today is talk like a pirate day? The other 364 days of the year are talk like a ninja day. And what do ninjas say? Nothing, because they don't need to. They just kill you silently. Know how those three pirate movies made so much money lately? Well, ninja movies make even more. You know why? Because they're in every single movie. You can't see them because they don't want you to. [Pirate]