A 14-year-old boy’s mother had enough with her son’s gaming over the weekend. After turning off the console hoping he would stop gaming, she called police to ask for their help in solving her son’s “addiction”.
Turns out 13-year-old Alfie Patten isn’t screwed for life after all. [geekologie]
When you have walking, talking Teddy bears with homemade computer chips showing up to a 2nd grade science fair, you know parental involvement has gone too far. Welcome to the seedy world of parent-sanctioned cheating.
You would think that a webcam would be sufficient, but basic teleconferencing solutions to the problem of deployed mums and dads is not enough for the military. They want to go virtual.
I love my parents. My dad is tech savvy, my mum isn’t, but both are equally bedazzled by technology and their reaction to certain gadgets is funny. Some parents, however, are not so impressed.
One of the great joys of parenting, as I understand it, is being handed a malleable lump of proto-humanity that sees you as some kind of god, absorbing everything you do and say as a lifelong lesson. It’s a big responsibility, sure, but also an opportunity to create a really… unique individual. Which is why I just have to recommend getting one of these absolutely terrifying robo teddy bears for your toddler.
I love driving fast, but when I have kids, I’m going to put them in the slowest, safest car imaginable, wrap pillows and old tires around the outside and install this Tiwi blackbox to let me know when they’re speeding. It has GPS and some cellular connectivity. When a driver goes too fast, it issues a verbal warning: “You’re exceeding the speed limit; please slow down.” Then it emails, text messages, or calls the proper authorities (mum or dad) if the speeding continues. Only US$549 and US$35 a month to totally mortify and alienate your kids for life. [Tiwi]
The Mummy Megaphone is a gag gift for parents that bills itself as a “sure-fire way to get everyone to listen.” It has a speak mode and a siren mode, can project over 150 metres and is allegedly weather and baby-resistant. With an adjustable volume range of 5 to 10 Watts however, it’s almost completely useless. Kids are yelly; when I was young, I’m pretty sure I’d hit 10 Watts in a normal conversation. You know what would be more effective? Holding up a paddle. That always got me to listen right quick. [Nerd Approved]
Having kids is hard work. I mean, you have to go to work to feed them, and by the time you get home of a night, you don’t really want to have actually engage them or monitor their activities, do you? Especially when TV or video games can do just as good a job without your help, leaving you to sit back and relax with a good book and a glass of chardonnay.
Of course, some people say that too much TV is a bad thing, and you really should limit the amount of time your little devils spend glued to the set. But how to do it without actually having to give up your glass or chardy and your book?
With BOB, of course! A device that plugs into any monitor, and switches the screen off after a period of time determined by you. You can set it up for up to six kids, so once your kids have reached their hourly, daily, or weekly quota, the screen snaps off, leaving the kid to occupy themselves otherwise.
Which will probably involve going to a friend’s place whose parents aren’t jerks, joining a gang, or cutting on BOB with a pair of scissors. Whichever way, your kid isn’t going to be happy with you.
