If you're like me, your skin boils in the presence of anything brighter than a 40W bulb. While my self-prescribed cave dwelling generally keeps me safe from the harsh glow of the sun, this UV monitor deals with those times we're forced to go outside by tracking solar radiation levels in real time. Enter the SPF on your sunblock, and the device will calculate your safe window of remaining time in the sun. Plus, you can set a counter to alert you for when it's time to call a beach bunny over to reapply. Pro tip: set the alarm for one-minute intervals. [techchee via coolestgadgets]

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Exmocare's released emotion-monitoring watches before, but this BT2 model seems to be directed at the service industry, meaning that bosses can use these wristbands to monitor their employee's emotional states. The control panel (screenshot after the jump) displays a summary of each person's heart rate, location, body temperature and skin moisture levels reported by an individual's device. If you thought your boss didn't know when you were looking at porn while you were supposed to be working, well, think again. And in our case, the watches would probably break from overuse, thanks to our constant state of arousal. [Exmocare via io9]

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Look out, horrible teenage drivers: there's a new device out there that your justifiably concerned parents can purchase to not only track where you are while you're driving, but to actually see you. Yeah, now you parents can bust you smoking pot or pleasuring yourself in the car without happening to drive up next to you. Bad news for you, good news for people who want to survive their commute home from work.

Teen Safe Driver is a camera provided by insurance companies that attaches to the windshield and points right at the driver. Since it can be used to keep people safe by ensuring kids stay off their damned cellphones and keep their illegally purchased beers closed and away until they get to Steve's parents house, it's free if you live in a number of states, even giving you a healthy 15% discount on your premiums if you use it. It's a win-win for the insurance companies, who save money by not having to pay for car repairs/funerals all while looking like saints who just want to keep the roads safer. And really, who doesn't? I know it sucks, teenagers, but if you could drive without crashing this wouldn't be necessary. You have only yourselves and your still-developing brains to blame. [Yahoo News via Uber Review]

Next time you're wondering if the earthquake of the century is starting to hit, this GraGraph earthquake meter will let you know just how bad that tremblor is, in real time. Once an earthquake starts (it doesn't say how strong, could mean a lot of false alarms), this little alarm-clock-sized device lets out a powerful wail, and then helpfully suggests what you might do next. Presumably this gives you time to get out of your house before it falls down around you. It's peace of mind for $85, but come to think of it, if there's a really bad earthquake, do you really need an alarm to tell you to get the hell out of there? [Sci Fi Tech]

As a former ski instructor (best high school job ever) and resident of the mountains of New Hampshire now living in the relatively mountain-free areas of Brooklyn, skiing gadgets bring a tear to my eye. One the one hand, they're awesome; like this speedometer for skiers and snowboarders that clips onto your chest or boots, telling you just how fast you ripped up Organgrinder, that run with the wicked steep headwall that they never groom. On the other hand, I haven't been skiing in two years due to there never being snow when I'm home for the holidays. Sigh. Hey Blam, let's do a skiing/snowboarding gadgets test trip this winter, OK? Let's make it happen. Please? [Product Page]

IBM is gathering some goodwill points by partnering up with a nonprofit to help monitor a 315-mile stretch of the Hudson River. They're going to be using a combination of sensor-laden buoys and solar-powered robotic underwater vehicles numbering in the hundreds. The vehicle, which sort of looks like a yellow sting ray covered in solar panels, will monitor things like the rivers temperature, pressure and pH levels. With this info they hope to be able to analyze the amount of pollutants in the river and better asses the risk to marine life. First things first, change the solar vehicles' colour from yellow to murky brown. That way it will blend in with the Hudson a little better. [TreeHugger]

Don't you hate accidentally smiling at 17% capacity and having no one tell you? Omron has released what they're calling "Smile Measurement Software," which tells you what your smile factor is on a scale of 0 to 100%. The software uses 3D face mapping technology to, "ensure accurate smile detection and measurement even when the subject is not looking into the camera"—which is great for when you're really trying to get 83% joy out of someone.

The software can be used on digital cameras, mobile phones and things of that nature to —well, I'm not sure. It'd be a useful little gadget to put in a screening room for a comedy, or measure how happy your friends are in your company. Either way, I eagerly await to see what creepy uses are thought of for this technology. [Akihabara News]

This is either a technological breakthrough or a sign that the medical profession is getting lazier by the minute: Aranz Medical's SilhouetteMobile PDA was designed to diagnose how bad a wound is, and monitor its progress as it heals. With lasers. Fully disgusting illustrated "Wound Measurement Report" after the bloody jump.

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Want to make friends with sex offenders but aren't quite sure where they live? Let Vision 20/20 help you. The free web-based program gives users the ability to find the location of any sex offenders living in their area -- including the crimes and the intensely creepy mugshots for each. The program is easy to use -- simply input your address, city and zip code, and a flashy map pops up with mustached, Village People-style markers showing you where your local neighborhood creep is.

According to the Vision 20/20 website, there's 650,000 registered sex offenders in the US and they've got them all placed neatly on a map for you. Try it -- it's fun for the whole vigilante-loving family. [Vision 20/20 via TechCrunch]